- What follows is a Christian Man’s guide to quitting porn and how I succeed at it.
- It will contain references to God, Jesus and scriptural references when complete.
- If you find these offensive feel free not to continue or respond.
August 7, 2016
Today marks the completion of my, “official” 90 Day Reboot, that I began on May 9, 2016 after having a couple of what I call, “false starts”. You see one of the things I’ve learned over the course of my time on RN is, you have to have the right mindset to be successful. For me I looked at Porn/PMO as kinda being like that old friend, some one I could rely on when things got tough. I’m not sure if it was a conscious thought or sub-conscious, but changing how I viewed what Porn/PMO was to me was pivotal to my success. I like to say I shined the light of truth on porn and it was an ugly thing in the pure light of day.
My relationship with Porn began when I was 8, I’m 46 now, so I wasted 38 years that I could’ve been using to do good things, unselfish things. I was raised in a Christian home, I am a Christian to this day, but during my time with porn I was living a double life and truthfully I was miserable. I understand full well what the Bible means when it says, “you can’t serve two masters” because there were plenty of times I felt like my mind, my soul was being torn in two. My parents had no idea I was struggling and honestly when I was younger I myself didn’t realize the harm I was doing to myself and those I cared about. Porn wasn’t something allowed in our house, but my friend across the street, his dad had a vast library, a complete separate room filled with it.
I came to RN on March 14, 2016 and signed in as “Trader22”. I had my first false start last 17 days and I wasn’t using filters at that time. I was so ashamed I left RN for 11 days and binged until I was thoroughly disgusted and came back. My next false start lasted 23 days and again I wasn’t using any filters. This time I deleted my account and left RN to binge for 5 days until I returned to RN for my final “Reboot”, which began May 9, 2016. My best advice I can give is learn everything you can about; the porn industry, Dopamine and porn addiction. Second, if you drop the ball, don’t do what I did and leave, stay and confess it. Learn from your falls, strengthen your defenses, use filters and blockers like K9 & Pluckeye. Read your bible, what you’ll learn is that the scripture recommends many of the same things mentioned here to deal with sexual sins.
The wisest most honest man on RN is William, if you read his thread (that I’m gonna give you a link to), and you follow his directions explicitly, I believe any man can be “One and Done”. If you try to go cafeteria style, it doesn’t usually workout so well. Go check out William and get your life back. I had hoped to be more eloquent with this thread, but I’m struggling to come up with what to say. My thanks to Gabe Dean for starting RN and my thanks to William for getting me on the right path. Thank you also to the many men who encouraged me and share their wisedom and experiences with me as we fought together. Finally, thank you to my Lord and savior Jesus Christ for dying for my sins and leading me to Reboot Nation.
William – “Hello Gentlemen, Now we begin”
Chip – “The Renewing of my Mind”
- Install adult filters/blockers on all computers/mobile devices (I use K9 and Pluckeye)
- “Nature Abhors a Vacuum” Replace the negative response habit of PMO with a positive response like exercise.
- Develope a Negative mindset of porn.(Study about Pornstar life expectancy, sex trafficking, child brides, child abuse, ETC..)
- Take Every Thought Captive, this is a battle fought in the mind, not your pants.
- Restrict all sexual activity to your wife. For a stronger reboot go HARD 90, but only if you both agree to it.
- No Alcohol during Reboot. Drinking leads to relapse.
- Find something of personal value and wager it against you looking at Porn. If you look at Porn, then you have to destroy the item.
- Make a Covenant with you eyes, in writing.
- ZERO PORN POLICY
- NO P-Subs(FB & Twitter, etc.)
- No Erotic stories
- No listening to sexual sounds or audio
- No suggestive music
- No Nudity, Period
- No Simulated sex(TV or Movies)
- Post on RN often, Interact with other Rebooters. Setup a counter, read success stories and study, study, study.
- NO MASTURBATING, PERIOD.
What Porn is: Porn involves a combination of sins: Lust, Adultery, Fornication and Idolatry
Where to start: “Confession of sins.” 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
If we are going to have lasting victory we must begin by getting right with God. Getting right means Confession & Repentance. To confess we must admit our guilt in what we’ve been doing, that we chose to use porn, that now we are addicted and ask forgiveness of these sins.
“Repentance of sins. Ezekiel 14:2-6 (NKJV)
2 And the word of the Lord came to me, saying,
3 “Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their hearts, and put before them that which causes them to stumble into iniquity. Should I let Myself be inquired of at all by them?
4 “Therefore speak to them, and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Everyone of the house of Israel who sets up his idols in his heart, and puts before him what causes him to stumble into iniquity, and then comes to the prophet, I the Lord will answer him who comes, according to the multitude of his idols,
5 that I may seize the house of Israel by their heart, because they are all estranged from Me by their idols.”’
6 “Therefore say to the house of Israel, ‘Thus says the Lord God: “Repent, turn away from your idols, and turn your faces away from all your abominations.
Second is repentance, repentance isn’t just a tearful heartfelt admission of guilt, its a turning away from that sin, its a complete reversal in behavior, thought and direction.
How to deal with habitual sins:
“Pluck out, Cut off & Flee”
Matthew 5:29-30 NKJV
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
1 Corinthians 10:12-14 NKJV
12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.
13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
14 Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.
We must cutoff and limit as much as we can our access to this sin in order to keep from falling back into it. What this involves is filters/blockers on PC’s and devices and if your like me and tech savvy it may mean getting rid if devices for a time or all together. One method is switching to a flip phone during reboot and giving other devices to a friend to hold on to while you are in reboot. Preferably somebody who won’t let you use them during a time of weakness. No where in scripture does it advocate we attempt to stare down temptation, in fact it commands we do the opposite. In order for us to withstand temptation we are to practice fleeing its presence. Our flesh is weak, so we must take steps to insure we don’t succumb to sin.
Strength in numbers:
“The Value of a Friend” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV
9 Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Going it alone isn’t necessary or advised by the bible, we need support like RN and our spouses. So post on RN daily and educate yourself on what your dealing with, what to expect along the way and be encouraged as you encourage others.
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. PRAY AND STUDY SCRIPTURE DAILY. HAVE FAITH.
LINK – The Renewed Mind
BY – Chip