I’m 48 been married 26 yrs. Divorced. So I jumped out on a dating site just to see what’s up, and ended up meeting a beautiful 37 yr old. Chatted a couple of weeks and met. What happened sucked! The story-
So my marriage of 26 yrs was probably over about 15 yrs ago (meaning I didn’t love her anymore, but stayed married for my kids), just different folks.
My wife has a vodka problem so I hung in for my kids so no nutball would come into their life. Sex died back then and internet porn was on the rise. I mean I started this sh!t in the DOS days of strip poker! I always believed in marriage, and pretty much stayed in the fantasy porn world, with travel for work and hotels it was pretty easy, and all consuming outside of home & work. I did nothing else, couldn’t wait for that PC and some alone time…sick fuck. Telling myself it was better than going out side of my marriage.
Every once in awhile my wife and I would try and have sex just because, I couldn’t get an erection or it was half a$$. I just attributed to the fact that I was not attracted nor did I love her anymore…. I should have known back then something wasn’t right, as a young man like most I’m sure, it didn’t matter what she looked like I was always up for it! No pun intended!
So as my youngest moved out, we started the divorce procedure and I was ready to be done. Thru this few years my porn habit progressed as I had more time that I did not have to account for, this made it easy to spend hours trying to find the perfect video for my next spooge, not realizing back then I had to search cause nothing would get my dick hard!
So I join a dating site thinking I am going to be all over young hot chicks like the ones in my porn addiction… And end up meeting a beautiful down to earth woman that I have some feelings for. We met a couple of times, and she invites me to a party with friends, I go and when it’s over she grabs my hand, and we have a room at her friend’s house, thinking my issues were being married to someone I’m not attracted to. I was like “I got this”…
Back the fuck up a minute! I have been PMO for about 15 yrs, I have progressed to watching fat chicks wearing leather masks in BDSM scenerios and worse to even get off; even when I do get off masturbating to the hardest hardcore porn my dick is semi hard drip down my hand BS! Hot chicks mean nothing in porn or real life, I don’t notice woman (hot or not) anymore for the most part…
Alright back to my new found gal…. She takes me up stairs and I’m like I got this little hottie, bout to tear some shit up! Nothing man, absolutely wet noodle nothing, running porn scenarios thru my head, something to get me there! Wet noodle nothing… So I’m 48, been watch the best porn for 15 years, I got this – tongue & finger and managed to save that night with some hard work.
Left the next morning and jumped on the internet for a WTF session! I knew I could get hard (at least semi by this point) so I wasn’t going to chalk it up to some physical/medical issue. I found rebootnation.org a frick’n godsend! I started reading and next thing you know is “yep yep yep me yep me uhuh me yup”.
I was already into to this chick so actually had not PMO’d for about a week prior to this. I’m like I got this, already a week down. I tried to stay away from her for awhile to no avail, got lucky and could muster up a half erection for some half sex, but always finished strong with other techniques!
So after my reboot nation schooling what’s happened?
- 4 weeks ago I climbed in bed with a beautiful woman, could do nothing (5 wks since PMO). 4th week very serious flatline, my belly button is an inny and was bigger than my dick! Despair, it’s over, I’m fucked! Thought about going back to porn just to prove to myself that I could get an erection, DIDN’T DO IT, I GOT THIS! Could not get a semi erection nothing!
- 3 weeks ago, I’m with her she goes down, nothing… she working hard I can only imagine what she’s, thinking. I stop her, and explain the reboot process, satisfy her other ways, I called it “therapy” tell I need her help, she accepts.
- 2 weeks ago, a couple of night time and morning woody’s! Been so long I forgot they even existed, get with my girl… thinking to hard trying to put every move into a porn scenario instead of enjoying the moment with my girl. Half erect again, finish out without my pecker again!
- 1 week ago, no beer, plenty of rest, hotel room, sex with maybe 70% but stays, no “O” for me. This week, night and morning wood getting normal, lasting awhile, but maybe still only 80 percent.
- Night before last, woke with a 90% erection, read on here about a jump start with MO, went for it, but here is the deal I made with myself… If I do this, it is about nothing, just me and my dick feeling good, if any fantasy start playing I was stopping. I actually had an orgasm with my hand and dick, that is all, no fantasy it just felt good, a few weeks ago never would have happened, not even a little chub…
So the great part about this story is last night I saw my girl. I was scared because I also read MO could set you back into flatline… She touched my dick, got on top of my dick. I was sweating bullets, nothing… But when she stopped trying and I took her pants off, grabbed hers tits firmly and pushed my dick up against that fine ass it was on (probably 90% erect) and it lasted, I still didn’t Orgasm but only because I pulled. I know it’s not all good yet, but the progress is funny and once u see it, you’ll understand it’s alright…
For those of you that don’t read stories, here is what I believe thru this treatment:
- Believe it, it is real!
- The severity & progression of your porn addiction (what it now takes to get u off vs the norm) will in fact play a big role in your recovery… I have noticed it progressed backwards as well – Point in case: In the bedroom, i was limp dick as you get… She reached over and grabbed me in the car in a parking lot BAM, hard as f’ck. Not that this is extreme I know, but 3 weeks prior to this I would have probably needed to tie her to a basketball post to get hard is my point! Another case: No panties… nothing; panties and move em to the side… schwinnng! Last night finally was naked… no thought, other than the beautiful woman I was with.
- Do not revert, you will think u are fucked I promise! U are not! We all go thru it! When it starts coming back, you will be relieved, trust me. Even the smallest victories will be sweet.
- Come back and read success stories! The more you understand this, the better off you are. I am probably lucky to many only being four weeks in (at least at the moment), but I probably read every success story on here!
- If she is worth it, explain it. Yes it is very embarrassing, but not as bad as limp dick! My girl attacked it as a mission and we joke about it. If she doesn’t want anything to do with u or it, kick her to the curb… There is a lucky chick in the not so distant future who will get your full force chub! Count on it!
- Keep your hand off your dick! When it’s ready, I promise it will let u know! One of the best things I read on here! “trying to make your dick hard, is not why your dick gets hard”! Stop it dumbass!
- If u truly r PMO i promise you will try and put every situation into a porn scenario! Don’t do it! If u are with someone (or masturbating) and start this, turn it off! if you can’t stop give it a week and try again.
- The porn was easy to give up, maybe because I met someone. Don’t go back, don’t indulge in softer stuff, it all leads to the same thing. If u follow what these guys have laid out, and this is your issue. This will truly be the greatest life changing experience you’ll ever have!
I would like to thank all of the guys that put themselves out here to try and make people understand this addiction. I believe if you have it, they have laid out a path to recovery at no cost that works. Thank you. You have changed my life, and I hope my rant helps someone else!
BY – Itsovernot