Happy to report that I am at day 118 and am very grateful to be here. I never thought that I would be able to live without PMO but here I am. It took damn near 50 years to get here but here I am. 🙂 Feels great! Good luck to those of you who are not giving up!
I turn 50 in December. I started MO at around 5. I started PMO around 10-12. I started flesh to flesh sex addiction at around 19.
Clarity of mind, no guilt, shame, or remorse, freedom to focus on more fruitful ideas, less anger, ability to be present to family members and loved ones, much less fear when dealing with opposite gender, less objectifying of others, more energy, less depression, are just a few of the benefits I have noticed since quitting.
I think the biggest challenge is admitting that I have a problem that I cannot solve by myself and then becoming willing to ask other men who have recovered to help me. I kept downplaying the seriousness of my issue. I kept saying it was not that bad and that it was not hurting anyone and that others do it and stuff like that…when I finally admitted to my innermost self that I could not stay stopped on my own and reached out to others in recovery, I found the help and resources I so desperately needed.
LINK – Day 118
I wanted to express my gratitude for helping me to achieve 160 days free from PMO and all cyber-sexual behaviors. It can be done!
Here is where I think I have made improvements: Physical improvements include dropping 14.5 lbs, better sleep patterns, better eye control-no nervous eye twitching/wandering, better posture, less anxiety; social improvement includes being able to converse more genuinely with opposite gender including 10’s; mental improvements include better focus, better retention, 5% raise! at work, completed several certification courses, more time for study and work thus allowing me to finish projects with ease. Probably the biggest improvement factor, and I almost forgot to include it, is that I am beginning to really like myself!
I just wanted to check in and let you all know that today is day 422 clean and sober, living in total transparency with my wife and other men in my recovery program. If you are truly ready to quit and are willing to go to any length to be free from PMO then I will be glad to share with you what I did to be set free. Other than that, I can only say that life without PMO is phenomenal. I feel like a man raised from the dead.