I’ve now been masturbation free since 29.1.16 and I thought if I shared my experience then it could help other people so here it is. Why did I give up masturbation: When I first gave up masturbation I was a completely different person to what I am now. No only did I have to give up porn and masturbation but I also have Mild-Highfunctioning-Aspergers so socializing was a problem I wanted to get rid of.
I decided to give up because I had a particular set of fetishes normally relating to female domination. I wanted to be attracted to ‘normal things’. I thought giving up porn would help get these thoughts out of my head and give me more capability when socializing rather than only talking when spoken to and barely able to start a general conversation unless it was about something I had interest in. I had previously tried to give up twice but I relapsed after no longer than six weeks.
The first month: The first two weeks were definitely easy but after that it just got harder and harder, literally and mentally. Willpower and self discipline where the thing’s I knew I was going to have to focus on and endure in the future. The first month was not too hard and I would probably rate it a 5/10, 10 being impossible, not many side effects or changes at this point.
2 months: At this point it was the longest I had gone without masturbation since I was about 7, yes that’s right seven. I started at a very young age with two things, a removable shower or a back massager haha. This time was very depressing because the thoughts that I wanted to get rid of were the ones clouding my mind at the time. Wither I was walking home from the gym or walking through class at school my fetishes would pop back into my head and I would be down on myself because I hated what I was attracted to, I just wanted to be attracted to ‘normal things’.
Another thing that started which was a completely out of it experience for me was my first wet dreams. After the two month mark wet dreams were happening more than twice a week and around four times a fort night or sometimes more. This only lasted for around six weeks after the two months were over later on I started to get them once every two weeks.
5 months: As you probably would’ve noticed by now, I’m not sticking to particular milestones, These milestones are because this is when changes occurred. 5 months wasn’t much different to three months I came up with the idea that keeping a plastic bag to chuck my boxers in after I’d had a wet dream so I could put another pair on and take care of the mess the next morning. I was only able to do this because I managed to wake up and stop it before it touched the bed sheets, If i couldn’t it wasn’t anything I couldn’t clean up with a few tissues.
By this point the fetishes were all still there but only in my wet dreams. I had a few dreams by this point with normal things but I didn’t believe it was a massive change or anything noticeable. The biggest difference in the 5 month and the main reason it is a milestone is because I developed anger issues in this month.
I believed the anger tied with my past a lot, as I talked about before I have Aspergers and with that comes problems socializing although mine aren’t as bad as most with Aspergers. During this month the smallest things were setting off my anger. It got to the point I booked a session with the school Councillor.
I didn’t tell her about the quitting of masturbation but about the anger. The small or big things that were setting off my anger all had relation to things that had happened to me in the past. Even if someone insulted me in a ‘just kidding’ kind of manor was I would either get upset or angry or both. I remember something someone said that made me cry and I knew it wasn’t even bad and it was upsetting me. I went into the bathroom and punched myself in the face and smashed my head against the bathroom stall and told myself to harden the fuck up over and over again until I stopped crying. Then I sat down and watched video’s on my phone of good times I had with my best friends and that gave me confidence to go back outside.
People started to look at me as being naturally aggressive after that but my confidence was slowly rising from this moment forward.
Almost 7 months: This month was where the worst of it had been over and done with and I the hill to the top had become less steep.
At this point My confidence around socializing hit a point that I had never hit before I was able to not only joke with others but also take the piss out of myself every once in awhile which I believe is a very important factor in socializing in the 21st century.
My fetishes are very suppressed compared to what they used to be but not gone, if I was to watch one video I would be right back where I started probably.
For the first time in a long long time, I had felt love for someone. I’m not talking about a relationship but just something that someone did that made me realize I do want a girlfriend again. As I’m short on time and preparing for exams I’ve decided right now wouldn’t be the best time to start a relationship again but I plan on getting back out there now.
The anger isn’t as bad as it used to be but it’s still there and I still fall into being extremely negative sometimes but it allot less common than before and when it does happen it’s not as intense.
Wet dreams haven’t hit me in almost three weeks although I’m extremely horny, I think it might be to do with the fact I’ve been smoking allot of weed lately due to social occasions and I tent to have delayed or less wet dreams after that. Not many people like cannabis but it has helped me so much. Not to the point I rely on it nor do I recommend it but it helps me open up, find and be myself rather than hiding behind a wall of sadness. It’s then when I realize that I don’t have to be hiding all the time and it gives me more confidence knowing I can socialize and I can be fun and I can express myself.
All in all, I go to the gym around two hours a day from Monday to Friday, socialize after school if I’m not doing homework and I smoke up almost every weekend with friends. I’m trying as Hard as I can to do the best I can at school and it really does feel like a boat of stress but I’ll keep pushing my new found confidence forward and update this thread when something new happens.
My advice to anyone who is trying to quit: Porn is addicting no one can deny that and so is masturbation. If your reading this post I imagine your trying to quit too wither it be because it is affecting your life in some way or your just exploring. If you need to find a reason to quit that’s true here’s one, “Porn is fake, and too much of it will cause you problems overtime, the makeup that porn stars wear is fake, the acts they do are fake and you have to choose if you want something on a screen or something real”. Quitting porn or masturbation has allot of long term positives and allot of short term negatives but you need to persevere. Just remember your not the only one who’s going to go through it and allot more have already done so. I hope that anyone who’s quitting in the end finds a long lasting healthy relationship.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with things here are some things I suggest to make it easier to give up:
-Make sure you have hobbies or something you enjoy doing to replace porn. You need to spent a minimum of a few times a week doing something you enjoy.
-Remove things in your life that have a negative impact on your well being. I’m not talking about a stressful school life like me because like quitting porn/masturbation it has allot of short term negatives and allot of long term positives. Make sure nothing is dragging you down because you don’t need it.
-Try to become the best version of you possible. People quitting often have severe depression and you might not. Don’t take me literally when I say this..Kill yourself, don’t kill yourself literally but kill off all the things you didn’t like about your old self. Work towards what you want to become, (the best version of you possible), and do it. Be you 😉
-Push yourself into social situations. You need to push yourself to gain back confidence when socializing if that’s what your after. This is one of the most important parts during quitting because if you don’t go out to do things then nothing will happen, (like meeting new people).
-If you need to ask for help don’t be afraid to look and ask. There are many people including myself online which would be happy to help. Holding all of your problems in isn’t healthy or well. Asking for help can make a huge difference just make sure you pick your help carefully and make sure you can trust them. If anyone has any sort of problem I would be happy to help as there is very little I haven’t been through and if I haven’t I’m good at putting myself in other people shoes.
-Last but not least, get rid of your porn or photo’s. It took me four months to get rid of my ‘stash’ but having it there meant that if I needed to go back to it one day I could. Deleting it straight away might be harder for people that others but it will help if the temptation isn’t there to open that folder on your computer 😉
I hope this post helps you guys and please message or comment if you need. Cheers.