I saw porn for the first time when I was 12 I think, and by the age of 13 I was masturbating. I was a very playful and aspiring kid. And around that time my Dad passed away, he was an alcoholic . I was scared and devastated, I never told anyone how I felt, I was fapping even when was in the icu , I didn’t know it but pmo was my escape.
Life went on as it was in high school I started feeling the effects , anxiety-I was becoming really anxious , I started to become a people pleaser and a pussy. I started giving control of my life to others, but it wasn’t all that bad till college, college was a constant escape from life and responsibilities, most of my time was wasted away smoking weed , pmo and video games.
I didn’t know it at that time but it was killing my social life. I had severe social anxiety , the anxiety particularly soared after smoking weed and pmo’ing . I didnt know what was causing my anxiety and depression .As for my college… I got detained for a semester due to my low attendance , also got paper cuts due to lack of attendance and also whole lot of backlogs which I am yet to clear.
I am supposed to be done with college by april 2015 but I can now only finish it by april 2017. That’s 2 years wasted away (2 frigging years!!!!). I still got 7 backlogs to clear. I am sorry for making this a rant.
I stumbled on this sub-reddit by chance and was following this closely, there were numerous posts on anxiety and nofap , so I began my first try on nov 15th of 2015, it lasted 31 days.
The benefits were massive , within the first week my anxiety was almost gone, it was truly unbelievable , I also had loads of energy , increased confidence , improved posture, and yes even the ladies were noticing , this truly worked!!!!
But then I had a relapse ,the 2nd streak was around 38 days (my personal best) , it was great but the I relapsed again and from then on till now , I have been constantly relapsing once even 3 times. My mind played constant tricks on me – my highest count was very far and I had just relapsed so my mind convinces me to keep relapsing cause there is a mountain to climb ahead.
Folks let me tell you something -:
Never relapse, if you do don’t go on a binge cause your mind will trick you and also the urges increase tenfold after a relapse.
The benefits were 100% legit and true- social anxiety gone, improved posture , increased confidence , girls do notice:)
Don’t waste your time , college is extremely important for your future , party but do it on a limit. I realized that too late:(
And the main reason I am writing this is , if there is anyone going through this, I can absolutely understand you but please dont do what I did , help yourself .
I really hope this post helps someone out there, confused, anxious , depressed ,like Iw was. Time is killing you minute by minute , don’t waste it on pmo’ing , it is absolutely brutal and can destroy you .
PLEASE do not relapse and if its worst case , mo don’t pmo. Its still bad but a little better than pmo. Stay strong brothers!!