Started trying NoFap in October. Failed over and over and over. Finally got my shit together and am now hauling-ass to a better version of myself. Will NoFap change your life? Yes. Will NoFap revolutionize your life? It might, that’s up to you. Here are my thoughts:
- Removing PMO from my life has made me painfully aware of all my other flaws, should I be content with them or continue to change them? The choice is mine.
- Key things that has shifted me from few-days-at-a-time streaks the my current streak:a. The Goal is not 90 days or 365 days, the goal is complete elimination from my life. This has proven pivotal. I swear somehow this mentality will make it easier to resist urges day to day.b. DO NOT EDGE. Every time I let myself edge, I had more urges for the following week, and usually failed.
c. DO NOT FANTASIZE. Fanaticizing leads to edging, which leads to failure .
d. Accountability. I am doing this with a friend, every weekend we talk on the phone to make sure we’re each staying clean. If one of us is having a rough week, we text everyday.
e. Cold showers, Meditation, and Journaling. I am rather inconsistent with all of these but they have each definitely helped.
- Habits cannot be simply removed, they must be replaced. I read “The Power of Habit,” which explains this well. Don’t just stop PMO, you must also add a habit. I have been hitting the gym 5x a week, I have never managed to do this prior to NoFap. I am replacing habits.
- It DOES get easier, I think after 40 days or so it got a bit easier for me, as long as I didn’t edge. Though a week ago I looked at some porn briefly, which had the same effect of edging. Don’t pull shit like that, it only makes it harder.
- When you become aware of a characteristic or trait in yourself that you dislike, change it. The awareness of what needs to change comes quickly and requires no work, implementing the change takes a lot of time and effort. So don’t get discouraged if you don’t experience immediate change, it takes time. I think every time I failed with PMO, my mentality was slowly changing until I was at a point where I was really ready to give it up for good.
- Better eye contact.
- Less intimidated by people.
- I find girls more fascinating than I ever have.
- I get more attention and complements from girls, real life examples: “you’re so masculine,” “You’re so assertive,” “You seem to know what you want.” No girl ever said any of those things to me prior to NoFap.
Tldr: Don’t edge, Don’t fantasize, replace it with something better. You have the power to change yourself.
No fappers, you are attempting something admirable, don’t give up.