Today i looked at my counter app and saw a big 90. I haven’t been able to do this for years of trying. My story is so similar to everyone else’s here that i won’t go into the bio. But here’s what worked for me:
1) I only focused on the M in pmo. No masturbation. The way out of this for me was breaking urges, and it took a long time to develop the skill. Get to know the urges, how long they last, how much time it takes to break them, use cold water on the nards if you have to but try this: between relapses break as many urges as you can, and you’ll get better at it.
2) Fuck what everybody says (esp. on this forum) – IT DOES GET EASIER. I used to think the urges just get worse and worse until you relapsed, but it’s not true. They get easier to resist. Breaking urges gets easier as you go. KEEP GOING.
3) i told my wife about my pmo habit, and it was the best thing i did. She was hurt but still supportive, and i realize that i do owe it to her to tell her because our sexuality is promised to each other. It’s a whole new level of relationship, and it feels really different. I realize we’re all socially programmed to fail at love. Fuck the pornmakers, they’re helping men ruin themselves. Not bros at all, lol.
4) after 40 days i felt strong enough to watch documentaries about the porn industry without getting triggered. First Youtube stuff, then that netflix doc called Hot Girls Wanted. That totally changed my outlook and gave me so much momentum to keep up. To see how these women are abused is sobering. Porn manipulates everybody.
YOU CAN DO THIS. Bad habits die from lack of feeding. Choke the habit like choking the air out of an opponent during a fight. Just a little more time between relapses, just one more broken urge, one more day, one more day… you hold the air supply. Deprive your enemy of oxygen and starve the habit slowly, relentlessly, and mercilessly. Don’t worry about doing things perfectly. Guilt pushes you toward porn, so refuse it.
Hope this helps someone else. Wanted to pay it forward for all the other posters who helped me here. Thank you all.