I’d had two long term relationships in 12 years. The end of second one left me a broken man I had been living off PMO, and it was disrupting my sleep, my health, my time, my motivation, my productivity. It was two years later that I met my crush. I would long for her like a typical nerd. Then she said she was leaving for another country. I figured I could go for it, safe in the knowledge that if it was awkward it would only be for a little while longer.
I told her how i felt.
She felt the same.
For two months we had the most meaningful relationship I could have had. I accept the fact that this falls well within the honeymoon period, and that my brain was likely a gooey chemical soup, but for me it was at least proof that I was broken no more.
I went back to PMO.
I got frustrated. I had tasted true happiness and now this was just routine. So, i decided to change.
- I’d heard of NoFap, but this time I read up on it seriously and decided to use my hands to grip onto life for once.
- I deleted 600 Gigabytes of Porn from my computer.
- Each month I renewed my commitment.
I had some friends who knew, and She supported me from afar. a few days ago I hit 90 days and didn’t even realise.
She’s coming back for a week, just to visit friends, and family, and me. So, I will be consciously ending my PMO Commitment here.
TL:DR – A.K.A “I don’t know about superpowers, but…
- After a period of adjustment, I am sleeping better
- My health has never been less of a concern, and I am lesss stressed, even though my job has objectively doubled in responsibility
- I have time to complete projects: woodwork, painting, music. I no longer feel pressured by the clock, or that i’m wasting hours of my life.
- I am motivated to do things, to go places and be with people, and that motivation is not purely sexual as it has been in the past.
- I realised that I’d been caught in a feedback loop which had made my addiction and my last long term relationship worse all the time, until the end, when all I was left with was PMO
- I look forward to being, really being with the woman I love, even if it’s for a short time.
- My journey will continue, in what form, I don’t know. But I salute any Fap/Femstronaut who takes on this, or any, challenge.
I feel I’m yelling into the void. So yell back at me. Tell me how you’re doing.
[Added] It’s going well, and even my partner has noticed several improvements ;). I’m early thirties.
LINK – 99 Days – My Journey