It’s been two full years since I discovered that porn was the reason for my ED, and it’s been 2 years of a freakin mental struggle regarding my sexuality and coming to terms with what I needed to do, how to overcome my habits.
I’ve been through stages of depression and serious doubt in myself and it wasn’t pretty, my first few attempts at NoFap had me borderline suicidal, no joke! My attempts at losing my virginity were humiliating and sent me down a spiral of negative thinking and doubting myself, seeing a therapist helped me out of it even though I never quite revealed to her the full extent of my ED cause. From then on I came to terms with human behavior and simply tried my best. We’re not perfect, we fail, we stumble, we make mistakes, we crack under pressure, we reset, but what matters is carrying on, not giving up and continuing to strive to better ourselves because the results are definitely worth it!
It took me a year since starting Nofap before attempting to have sex again with a woman, and I failed miserably. It was an emotional gut punch, “How long?!” I asked myself, truth is, however long it takes! I wasn’t 100% faithful to NoFap for the first year, hell I’m even less faithful now, so I wasn’t completely shocked but I felt that I should have produced more results for my efforts. After that night in the university showers with the gorgeous Polish maid (Mind boggling how I couldn’t get it up to that!) I promised myself I’d go hard again and achieve my goal no matter what.
For a while I went through the same feelings and emotions again mirroring the previous year, I became very low and detached from those around me, I even pushed away a girl who gave me her time and attention and fell in love with the wrong person and pursued her for months all the while questioning whether I’d be able to step up to the plate when the time comes again but I reached a dead end. It simply wasn’t the best chapter of my life.
Then came a sign of hope, I took a friend out for a picnic and we ended up doing it in the backseat of the car. It finally happened, as smooth as it can go, it was a wonderful feeling, a personal life achievement. I went to Spain the next day and enjoyed a great holiday knowing what I’m finally capable of, I no longer have to shy away from taking it to the next step with girls.
It took a month before I met a new girl and hit 3rd base, only it didn’t go as smooth as I’d thought it would. I completed the deed but… stumbled a couple times. It was a reminder, I’m still battling the same battle, one good night didn’t turn me into a god, I’m still in the process! for the duration of the summer I mingled with a few girls including my old friend the Polish maid, all with different degrees of success, sometimes I was able to go several rounds, sometimes I struggled to achieve just one.
And that’s my point, the whole thing is a long process, it’s gonna take a lot more work and effort to overwrite years of masturbating to hardcore porn, sometimes more than hardcore, we’ve all been there :l I’m currently enjoying a new relationship with a wonderful girl I met at work and I’m looking forward to spending the week with her (parents are out of town :P)
With time you’ll discover how to work around your habits and even your performance in the bedroom (or backseat), some positions work for me, others just kill the mood. and don’t be afraid to pop a pill every now and then, worked wonders the first time I tried it, just don’t do it regularly! Just like porn it too has long term effects.
And that’s all I wanted to share with you guys today. NoFap didn’t even cross my mind for a whole year, all I did was continue working around my urges and habits to the best of my ability without knocking myself every time I gave in to a minute of porn or relapsed a couple times a week. Trust me you’ll have some rough times resisting human nature, sex is everywhere and we’re all about it but a bit of suffering now will pay off down the line so stick with it no matter what and expect to stumble.
My one big piece of advice to get you through is to KEEP YOURSELF BUSY!!! I can’t stress this enough people, When I’m working, with friends, at the gym, driving, gaming, eating etc. My mind is nowhere near porn, like really there’s no questioning the logic, do something!! I’m currently in my summer holidays and finding it hard to control myself with all the free time I have sat in front of my laptop, even with a girlfriend! I’m actually more horny now than I am single so the struggle is real at the moment.
And for those of you struggling to attract girls or are simply afraid to fail, don’t be. Easier said than done but the more you are around girls the better. I work security at a night club so I’m lucky in that sense, talking to random girls regularly builds confidence and it can be done in many other places. And there’s only one way to test your progress.
Oh and gravity helps!