My PMO story is like yours, porn, masturbation, orgasm, long sessions, extreme practices, always more extreme. In my case I had a bonus: erectile dysfunction, ED, which means in simple words, you can’t get it hard, or not hard enough.
You feel like shit, your girl feels like shit … and that’s not good.
At the beginning it was just once every month, I had been with the same girl for a long time, maybe that’s normal. I have had an affair with another woman, she looks great but in 4 nights, unable to get anything to work. At that point everybody starts to consider every option, the woman is blaming herself, you are blaming the condom, the stress, whatever, those probably don’t help but my problem was wires in my brain.
After a few tries lasting one month, I have stayed away from porn for close to six months, recently I have had a few relapse, but this is not anything daily anymore, and I still want to wipe porn out of my life.
Here is what I have observed:
- ED is not binary: and by stopping porn and getting my manhood in better health, I have discovered that in fact I was having low quality erection since a very long time, I was just not paying attention and the situation got worst slowly with time.
- I have experienced no super power, not what other describe, I feel good, but not that much.
- Getting NoFap to have some impact on my health took time and the progress was not linear. It took a very long time to recover, it scared the shit out of me. It started really slow, but at the moment were you feel this morning wood back you already start to be happy.
- I have hard times at a regular rythm. I know that I feel depressed the third day without orgasm (I am including sex with woman there), I know that every thirty days my probability of relapsing hits a peak. If you know it: try to do your best to hack yourself out of dangerous (masturbation prone situation).
- Avoiding masturbation prone situation means: keep your phone / computer away, meet people, try to keep yourself busy. A quick hack I often do, is to force myself to shower before I switch my computer / phone on, I know that it reduces my probability of POMing.
- You have done nasty things to your body, try to eat well, drink water and do sport… really! Back to an healthy life will help you to feel good.
- Talk, talk with friends you are confident with, it helps just to open.
- Don’t fear the women. I mention this because of ED. I have had major ED problems with three women, none mocked me, all three have been really really nice. They are also questioning themselves, don’t feel forced to tell them everything but being a gentleman also mean to tell them that this is not coming from them.
- Don’t take average position. Porn without masturbation led me back to masturbation, masturbation without porn led me back to porn, online stuff like Whisper that always gets to sex drives me back to masturbation and then to porn. At some point I was even closing my eyes during sex scenes in movie. Stay away from anything that can connect you to this.
- Keep faith: you may relapse, but you have tried, life goes on, tries again, you have no reason to stop!
- Find cool stuff to do with your time and be proud of it.
- I am bad at this, but you feel when you are about to relapse, make a plan about how to escape that as soon as you feel that you are about to: go out / start a movie / call a friend …
- I could get incredibly aggressive toward others after I hated myself for having lost time on PMO.
- It happens to women, I have met some.
- If you have ED check with a doc, you want to be sure that this is nothing physiological. My case was linked with fapping, it does ruin our health!
NoFap helped me a lot and I would like to share back. Good luck!