I realized I needed a reboot when I got with my new girlfriend after a looong time without sexual contact with someone and escalating porn use/tastes. After many embarrassing encounters of ED I decided to hit google and figure out why I was having this problem.
Came across this site and the YBOP site too and it clicked, after a few hours of anxiety and realizations about what my life had come to I decided to give the reboot a try. I also want to clarify I wasn’t addicted to porn but WAS rewired to pixels on a screen.
From what I have read over the past few months,people reboot for many different reasons, my two main problems were ED (Not the worst but had to be addressed) and porn induced fetishes (MMF 3somes) the latter being the main reason for my reboot.
So the reboot begun and the first few weeks were pure hell, I had to be around people as much as I could to stop me from running home and opening tabs or whipping my trousers off and flooding my brain with porn style fantasy. at first I told my girlfriend what I was doing and everything apart from the fetishes and she was supportive so that helped.
about a month in it was still very tough, especially fighting fantasy all day! was around this time that I started to notice I was having good days and bad days due to the “dopamine pendulum” being put off balance as I wasn’t satisfying my cravings anymore, so some days were great and others it felt like I was going insane! so when I finally saw my girlfriend and we would have a week of sex and I would fly back home (we live in different countries) I would feel normal again, I say normal but really I just didn’t feel like a lust ball for about a week, after that week was over the cravings came flooding back, and back to square one again it seemed. :/
anyway this roller coaster carried on until around the 2 month mark and then something strange happened….. those years of porn use desensitized me to real sex and the things I was watching just felt normal to me but it obviously wasn’t. one day I woke up and it seemed like my brain split into 2 halves, one side telling me that what I was doing and seeing was normal, the other telling me to snap out of it and get back to reality. while this was a milestone the good and bad days kept coming but there started to be more good days than bad at this point.
The final part of my reboot was great. while I still had bad days sometimes. the good days were well worth the pain and it felt like I had gained my life back from one filled with pure lust. I also don’t think about those fetishes anymore because that was the thing that distressed me the most as bringing my girlfriend into a world of lust would just be pure selfish and she knows about it and said it it something she would never do, which at first I didn’t understand as porn distorted my reality so much it made me think every woman on the planet was as lustful as the women I saw in the videos, how f***ed up is that! :/
At the beginning of my reboot, days without MO felt like weeks but now weeks feel like days and it is beautiful!!
so there is my reboot story but I would like to highlight some key points that I hope will prove useful to someone
DON’T FANTASIZE!!! Now to some degree this is impossible I know! and it was the hardest thing for me to handle during my reboot, but really try your best to shake those thoughts and focus on something else because treating yourself to one thought will eventually escalate back into ridiculously dirty thoughts again and the opportunity for relapse will always be present! your brain needs a rest from artificial stimulation, if it’s not real, no deal!
READ The best thing you can do early on is hit YBOP and read as many articles as you can and educate yourself on the brain science behind everything. it’s a comforting thought to know that it is all just science and the person you think you are is not you, it’s what porn has done to your brain and you can reverse it!
NO ORGASM OR AS LITTLE AS YOU CAN HANDLE Orgasm will only tease your brain into thinking you will blast it with dopamine often again, you can go without it! exercise, socialise and be creative… sex and orgasm isn’t the most important thing in your life and you will see that soon! so the no orgasm reboot is the only way to go in my opinion!
ENCOURAGING WORDS/PHRASES Keep a number of words or phrases in your mind for the hard times (excuse the pun) remind yourself why your doing it when it gets tough and realise that life isn’t a porno, it’s not constantly filled with pleasure and reward!
ACCEPTANCE Now I don’t mean accept that your porn life is who you are because it’s not. and your brain will constantly rationalize and try to bring you back, tell it to f**k off! I mean acceptance by accepting the fact you will feel like this for a while because of how your brain has changed so it is inevitable you will accidentally fantasize about something, don’t beat yourself up, acknowledge it and then move on!
I will probably think of more tips soon and post them but the bottom line is this… your brain WILL reset, the ED will leave (I am back to rock hard mornings and my girlfriend is also happy haha) any fetishes will weaken or go away and you will have new discipline in your life. confidence will come back and your focus will be better than ever!
It is a crazy journey to say the least but it gets easier and you will have your life back.
Don’t put a date on it either, I know a lot of people think the 90 day guideline mark will cure it all but it’s not like that, my reboot took roughly 4 months but depending on how bad your case is it could take longer so BE PATIENT! results will come.
Finally watch the video by GABE DEEM on youtube every few days and read his posts on this forum, very knowledgable about everything and very supportive, he is one of the reasons I have been so successful so thanks gabe if you see this!
Thanks everyone and good luck you WILL do it!
BY – MusicLover0991