I’ve been grinding away at my day job, not even focusing on acting. However, thanks to a side-gig the other week, I was able to network with a director. This director called me in for a callback yesterday, and I did what I needed to do.
Today, I was contacted and asked to come in for the shoot next week!! NoFap definitely helped me out with this. It’s crazy, it’s processing now, and I’m going to kill it at work and during my training sessions now! Thank you NoFap for helping me along this!
I don’t think fapping is wrong. Far from it actually. My problem is that I couldn’t get hard without some sort of porn. Even when I had a girlfriend, the first time I couldn’t open the gates. She thought it was a problem with her, when it was just porn.
I’m DEFINITELY not against sex!
I’ve told two people, one of my close college buddies, and one of my coworkers.
The buddy was excited because he knew I was a horndog, and would chat with women, but wouldn’t do anything past that.
The coworker was talking about spirituality, and the transformation of one’s self and it just kinda slipped out. He understood that my main reason for porn was because I was lonely, and we had a pretty deep discussion about it.
I wont tell anybody else about it until I need to.
My libido seems to have gone through the roof because im getting hard morning wood again haha.
Duration: 7/15/15 – 1/2/15 (5 months, 18 days) Location: Los Angeles, CA
So, it’s been 171 days..I remember my first 30 days being extremely difficult, but I felt super powers. From 60-90-120 days, this NoFap thing has been getting easier. At 171 days? I feel that I’ve completely curbed my PMO addiction.
These days, I do get turned on, but it’s because of seeing women on the street, or the occasional sex drive kicking into high gear. I’ve actually had a couple flatlines since then. It’s worthy to note that I’ve only had sex once during this whole time. So…I think I’m in softmode right now? Or probably hard mode currently lol.
Communication is rock solid. I went out on a platonic hangout with a lady friend of mine and saw Joy. Despite what everyone’s thinking about the fruitiness, it was okay. I think it still needed a little more explosions though lol.
Speaking of explosions, my senses are all sharper now. I don’t know how this can be, but being in an “awakened” state (for lack of a better word) has done wonders for me being connected to the world.
I’m feeling a lot more productive now. Like, I clean, peak production at work with the occasional laziness, etc. I’m actually going to start working out and try to win the 250k challenge on bodybuilding.com. I’m cooking meals from home, and trying to cut down on eating out.
I’ve also just bought a car, a 2010 Nissan Maxima SV to be exact. Because of me bringing a baby into the family (my car, not a child), I’m paying more attention to how much I’m paying out in expenses.
But to get back to the original point of the update, Fapping crosses my mind every now and then. But being 171 days in, it’s much easier to control it and divert my mind from being in the gutter.
It’s good to be free
My job is making me travel around a lot of Los Angeles. I’m a mover and we go directly to the client’s house, take their stuff and put it in storage. We deal with a LOT of beautiful women. When interacting with them, I’m completely confident and calm, and I think they dig that. For example, today I was helping a female client get two mattress covers onto her mattress (obviously lol) and a bed spring. We kind of had a non-sexual moment when we completed it. She was also staring at my hand at the end of the job indicating that she wanted a handshake. She had a soft touch. I’m not sure if the female at work is checking me out or not since it’s literally a sausage fest, but hey, we chat and it’s pretty easy to talk lol.
I can hold a conversation with the guys at work too, and my work ethic is through the roof. I know that I must do better and work without tearing my body apart, but I have so much energy that I don’t know what to do with it. I’m pulling 10-12 hour days so it gets kinda long tho lol.
So, confidence is going through the roof, and I have seen that I’m getting much more into my thoughts. I find myself staring at the Hollywood Sign on the mountain, and realize that I still have inadequacies I must work on before I make my move, and begin conquering Hollywood. Guys, if you start feeling that you’re thinking and reflecting on yourself – TAKE THIS AS A GOOD THING. Seriously, when you realize that you have inadequacies to work on, I feel that’s when improvement can begin. I started having these thoughts around day 30.
This might be a TMI, but I’m gonna say it: my balls feel huge. Like really huge. It’s probably because of the sperm retention, and the fact they’re hanging a bit lower nowadays, but it’s a good feeling.
My posture is much straighter than before as well. I walk with my chest out and my shoulders back. I make eye contact to the citizens in their cars and people on the streets. I make it a point to smile to people when I’m passing them as well.
I’m going to start going to 24 Hour Fitness here in a couple weeks. I’ve gotten a job and I’m currently on my third week and I get a paycheck tomorrow. My mind is much clearer and I know what I want. Women can wait – I’ve gotta work on myself right now.
I’m a frequenter on this sub since I’m not perfect in the NoFap-space. I like reading the stories and posts that everyone makes. I’ve added my two cents to as many as I can without it being overbearing for the sub.
I’m also looking for motivational things since sometimes I may get kind of burnt out. I’ve realized one thing in regards to NoFap: We may never win the war, but we can at least make sure we don’t lose. What this means is that when we relapse or feel the urge to look at P, we must not lose focus and relapse.
I’m going for Day 90 and the only time I’ll release this NoFap load is inside a female (condom on of course lol.) I’m going for Day 90, and with being on Day 60, I feel that it’s easier than every to complete this challenge.
If you guys and gals need any help, don’t hesitate to contact me! Good luck fellow fapstronauts!
UPDATE: A user asked me to update about ED, which I can proudly say is starting to go down. I’m focusing on women a lot more, and usually won’t get a hard on. The urges are still there, sure. But until I start messing around with women, I won’t know if I’m okay. What I do know though, is that I’m having dreams of seducing women, and that’s not something I did when I was addicted to porn.