Having stumbled onto this subreddit by accident (something I am highly grateful happened) I immediately felt drawn to the positivity of this community. My backstory is similar to many of my brethren here. Grew up starting to masturbate at age 12 and quickly got into PMO. Entering the rabbit hole came with darker P and many fetishes were born from this.
Many will nod their head with similar stories. I grew up in a christian home, and this made it even worse. Ended up getting really bad when I went to college and the horrible deep dark hole that is PMO addiction continued to get worse.
This was until I came across this subreddit which changed my life forever. I don’t know what is was inside of me, but all I wanted after reading a series of posts from that day was to start this journey. And so it began… Literally I just stopped PMO’ing from day one. I didn’t post or anything telling you guys I began, I just did it. I didn’t even put it through my mind that I would relapse. I just stopped thinking about PMO all together.
One thing you should know about me is that, according to my faith, I am planning to wait till marriage to have sex. This means that I did not do nofap to get into bed with girls, or even to try date and marry one. I did this for myself. In the very beginning I made it my mission to not O again till I was married.
From the first week I was absolutely struck by the difference in my life. My eyes were opened, the veil was removed, and I could see life. I began living life to the fullest. The desire to have a PMO session was always trumped by the massive change I saw in my life. I began to see that other men around me were behaving like beta’s and I was beginning to be an alpha – it made me so excited to walk around.
Some people don’t really get the whole changes thing. I won’t lie, its hard for me to even believe that simply stopping PMO would produce such changes. I began to read, go to gym, hang out with girls, not care what others thought. I began to look strangers in the eyes when I walked by, and I would smile at girls politely as they turned their heads to notice me.
I have unfortunately edged a couple of times. And I tell you guys now, if you open the door once, you will find yourself opening the door again. Its fact!
Anyways, I reached day 30 with glorious joy and a love for life. Then came the harder but just as important flatline stage – where I learnt the absolute determination of the human spirit. This was prolonged further than I would like in my case because I edged in this period once or twice. Such was my punishment…
Before I knew it I was at day 150 and I found myself in a new particular stage of nofap. It lay before me like a vast land that was untamed and untraveled. I was lost in an inner peace unlike anything I have ever known. There were few apparent ‘superpowers’ which I had not yet discovered. Instead of waking up with a ‘lust for life’ kinda attitude, I was waking up into the most peaceful state of being that I have experienced. This carried on for a long time till about day 250.
Day 250 came with much contemplation. I was bored that I had not yet reached a new phase of growth. I had plateaued, the curve was flat, and I was not seeing anything. With that I began to slip back into some less than constructive habits. Internet became a go-to thing again. I was struggling more and more with edging and I was overall annoyed with myself for slipping up in small ways, unlike previously.
Today marks 280 days since I last fapped. I broke my streak today but I feel alright. I started this journey to see if I could, and I have proved that I can. This has been one hell of a ride, and one which I resolve to start again. I want my eyes to be opened again.
I may see you guys back here in a year, and if you never hear from me again then know that I am doing alright.