I feel great, no longer a suicidal misery machine


Last year 30 days seem impossible, now since mid January I been in the same streak and I feel great, not just great, maybe like never before. In the hardest days I always find some wisdom words in here, so really thank you. I think I made a change for good.

Well if you want to read some more i could tell you that a few years ago I really gave up on life, I mean, for real, like suicidal, not to the extent to put a gun in my mouth, but I was really ready to dye, nothing seem exiting, the good things that happened to me didn’t made me happy, I was overweight, and completely depressed, so yeah, not much to live for.

But some how I shake those feelings off, mostly because I think before I dye I should at least expend the money that I had saved, lol, so I take a long trip to Europe and had an awesome month and a half (it’s very difficult to jerk off in a trip) and was feeling good all the time, but when I return I start to PMO again and the depression hit again,

But something had changed, somehow in that year I learn that I had an addiction and that porn was bad, I mean not just a bad habit, really an addiction, and an article suggest that you should try to quit it for 30 days and visit this sub, I try for two days and I was going insane, for real, then I was completely sure that I had a serius problem,

Anyway I made it to 11 days, until my ex came to visit me and we had sex, very bad sex (now I think I was starting to develop PIED, I mean I had an eleven days streak but before that I was PMOing two times a day, three on weekends) so I feel entitled to M, stupid me, so I try again next day but just last 4 more days, then again and just 4 more days,

And then I said that’s it, I really have to try this, and enter again this sub, and the first post that I opened contain a link to a book, the easy peasy method, and that really changed my life, the magic phrase was “You are not making a sacrifice ” and that was so true, I was not depriving myself of a pleasure, I was quitting a venom and a cruel trap of the modern world, fucking cruel, four years of my life to the trash, well not really, good things were happening I just didn’t enjoy it,

That’s the real horror of porn, nothing seem to be enjoyable, or exiting or appealing, so when you quit it everything starts to be exiting, I mean really small things like wearing a t-shirt, you know the way the fabric touch your skin, just kidding, but food really taste better, music sound better, suddenly you really want to see your friends, work out, clean your room, just experience reality,

And man that’s so unusual for a guy who used to be depressed all the time, but that experience has a cost, you have to stop M at all, not just P, because the re absorption of sperm by the blood has an incredible enhancement of the male body, it’s like taking the best vitamins of the world every day,

So yeah, to kill the urge you have to meditate, work out, focus that energy into something else, like cleaning, when I visit my mom she tells me -wow you really like to clean, I tell her -shut up mom just leave me the dishes, lol, she has no idea, and she better, porn is a shameful addiction, and a stupid one,

And a dangerous one because the world doesn’t accept it as a real addiction, it’s like when cocaine was legal, but those of us who really have experience the pain of being in that self imposed jail, that vicious circle, known for sure that is a living hell,

I mean being depress is already bad but then after you PMO you feel even worse than depress, that’s just inhumane you become a misery machine, and that goes on for years, so I’m really glad to be out of that hole, and I really owe a lot to this sub, so thanks, from the bottom of my soul.

Those of you who are quitting keep going it’s totally worth it, if you don’t you should do that.

LINK – 200 days, I just want to say thanks

By lolo666