Okay, there were a few slip ups, but I never actually had an orgasm, and I stopped myself often. Today I saw some porn but never found it very interesting. I got out of it and told myself “I can make a choice. I don’t need to view this”. I did notice that my erection was much stronger than before, and much more prominent. The damage PMO does is real and PMO should be avoided.
I’ve been viewing women with much more respect. More importantly, I’m seeing myself in a greater respect. Been having lots of moments with family, including watching christmas movies and sharing gifts. I don’t feel as awkward around people and have hugged some people without the same uncomfortable feeling as in years prior.
Socially, my mind seems a lot clearer. I hold less animosity toward people who have not wanted anything to do with me (not everyone, but there were some) when I was into PMO and being disrespectful to myself and others. I don’t want to fully connect my disrespectful moments with PMO, but PMO DEFINITELY contributes to being disrespectful (of self, and others).
I reset my counter repeatedly, mainly because I want to a true 90 day reset. To me, this will involve not looking at any sort of attractive material online and doing my best to be respectful of the women I see and not immediately judge them based on their looks as my previously immature and shallow self would. That’s something else PMO does to you, it makes you shallow. It cheapens sex drive so badly. It voids it of any meaningful, social value. Instant gratification is not the basis of meaningful connection, if that makes sense. This is something I’ve learned over these approximately 60 days.
Good luck everyone.