How no masturbation and porn cured my erectile disfunction (ED), delayed ejaculation (DE) and premature ejaculation (PE).
First I need to give you my background:
No porn: over a year
No masturbation: currently 109 days without
Sexual activity: I have a girlfriend where sex occurs around once a week to once a month (I’ve been with her for around 2 years now).
Just over year ago I had erectile dysfunction caused by being desensitized by excessive daily use of porn and masturbation. Then a year ago I stopped porn because it felt deeply sad to sit watching a screen of people having sex. It made me messed up to say the least. For a few months after this I struggled with giving up masturbation. Only going a few days without here and maybe a couple weeks without there. Then I felt something in me that realised enough is enough and I gave up masturbation for 80 days.
In those 80 days all the sensitivity went back. I was much more in tune sexually with my partner. I would get strong erections very quickly. Kissing, hugging and other small intimate gestures felt deep and warm. Why did I start masturbating again?
ED and DE went to PE. Premature ejaculation.
I felt increasingly worried about being unable to perform sexually. In these 80 days I went from lasting 15-20 mins to under a minute. Then the idea of masturbating went into my mind – the days where I would last much longer. The streak ended. I began masturbating nearly every day again with patches where I would abstain for a week or two. This carried on for about 2-3 months. I read up and would do all these exercises (kegels/reverse kegels), breathing techniques, meditation and even taking drugs.
Even then I still had PE. I realised that these are doing nothing. The very fact that I was looking for this quick way of getting better-more-pleasurable-sex-now was the cause of my PE. Chasing and being out of control of wanting pleasure. After this realisation, I gave up masturbation. The notion of pleasing yourself for the sake of some momentary pleasure is inherently worthless, void and sad. Masturbating, even if it makes me less sensitive and last longer, is not worth it.
For the first 60 days of my current streak I still had PE. In fact it was the worst I’ve ever had. Ejaculation would happen in less than 10 seconds. Yet. I. Still. Carried. On.
I would attempt at the best of my ability to block sexual fantasizing (I sometimes snap out of it a bit too late). I even extended the practice of controlling my urge to want pleasure outside of sex. I would make myself eat really tasty food a lot slower, instead of gobbling it all up as soon as I could. I realised I was TERRIBLE at this. At first I would forget about eating slowly as soon as I tasted the lovely food.
After a while I had a lot more control. Then after about a month of doing this (around 100 days into nofap) I went from lasting under a minute to 5-15 minutes. This is the key to curing PE. You must look for control within yourself instead of looking for it outside of yourself (exercises, drugs, creams etc…). The first step to grasping this control is to stop yourself from masturbating.
TL;DR – Just keep up with nofap/noporn. Be patient and observant.
LINK – Cured – a must read.