This is a massive first, I’m on day 46. I’ve been trying for years to manage a week, and all of a sudden, I’m on it. What’s been different this time round? Two things, my girlfriend is on board 100%, in fact she’s participating in the challenge herself for her own reasons. Having this support, and being accountable to someone I love more than anything, is the motivation that I need. Secondly, as a reward when we get to 90 days, we’re going on an outdoors adventure on a island together. We’ve been talking about it for weeks now to build up anticipation to keep fighting. I remember a few weeks ago (we’re attempting this in hardcode, so no sex!) when we were in a very compromised situation that was 70/30 going to lead to sex, and it was pretty much down to me to make the decision. Instead of saying ‘no’ i said the name of the island, and we both stopped immediately. We really want to get to this destination. I think it’s really important not just having a destination time wise, but planning a reward on the 90th day to keep perspective on the timeframe and to build excitement. But more-so, and I have no doubt this is the real reason it’s working this time, it’s crucial to have support and someone you’re accountable to. I’m exceptionally lucky to have such a beautiful girlfriend (completely out of my league!) who is on board with this 110%, but we all need support from other people who understand regarding this.
With 46 days in, the other changes that I can report; increased motivation and desire for my physical wellbeing. I have absolutely knackered my back and arms from over-doing it at the gym, but even this isn’t stopping my motivation to go back. I only started getting back at it (with regards to fitness) a week ago and I’m so eager to become my best physically. I want to have true core strength and energy when I need it. I want to be stuck in a really good diet and have a great balance of different foods to give myself all the nutrition I need. I want to feel alive! Considering the pain I’m currently in my body is experiencing this as a massive adjustment, but it’s kind of a good pain! I know, because of the NF challenge, that ‘this too shall pass’, and that it’s worth it for the long term. I feel like I’m taking control of my physical self.
Other benefits- I have gained (and continue to gain) true self assuredness. In fact I lead a work meeting, and spoke to a room of about 12 of my co-workers, with a completely relaxed and pleasantly confident attitude. This is something I couldn’t have imagined doing a couple of months ago! I am so much better in social situations, I don’t feel like I need to impress other people so much, I just need to be myself. I’m growing to like myself for the things I can change, like my mannerisms and just the way my brain works. What I can say more regarding that is that people generally find me endearing. People have told me very kindly that they ‘really do like me’. In fact, a friend/ co-worker described me like goats cheese; at first they hated it (haha) but after time they grew to love it and it’s the best thing ever (they actually said that!).
I think people like honesty, and they aspire to people who have it figured out. Honestly, the more I persevere with the NF challenge- okay it doesn’t make me think I’ve figured everything out- but it gives me an attitude that says ‘I am capable, I can do anything!’, and I think it’s that sincere mindset that everyone really alludes to internally.
Other stuff – I’m learning to engage with reading a bit better (this will hopefully improve a lot more) and remain focused on one thing at a time. I bought Lord of the Rings to read for the first time. It’s one of those books that ‘I’ll get round to reading’, as I’m not much of a reader, I think this is a good place to start.
Anyway, I’m awake quite late and instead of even letting myself be tempted I’m doing things I consider productive. Funny I was thinking earlier tonight how usually on these occasions I would be giving in to the temptation, but I just said.