On an extended streak my zest for life returns

Let me preface something very important: I have a macroprolactinoma. They call it a tumor but it’s not cancerous. I consider it an imbalance instead. Much like when you get punched in the eye, it swells up. I take medication for it to keep my hormones close to average. I haven’t extended a streak long enough to know if my hormone balance would return to normal naturally.

I’m 99% confident this imbalance is due to PMO. I was a complete junkie, needing more potent doses as time went on. Doctors loyal to the AMA (all of them that my insurance would pay) would never agree with this. It’s just not part of script at this point.

Also, this sub has been very helpful in gaining perspective and awareness about my OWN situation.

I said my OWN situation. Even though I have strong opinions about my condition, I also have strong opinions that every one here is different. So, please consider this before applying anything I write to your own situation.

Okay, with that out of the way here is what I’ve been noticing:

On a steady dose of PMO (let’s say 1/day) I’m happy, but have zero drive for life and ED issues.

On an irregular dose of PMO (let’s say 1 every 2 weeks)I’m way up and down. Sometimes I’m feeling alpha. Other times I’m flatlining bad. I have literal pain in my head directly where my pituitary is located. There is no doubt a connection with physical pain there and PMO.

On extended streaks (let’s say 20+ days) the ups and down settle a bit. I have drive for life (and a great perspective on why that is such a good thing even in the depressing times (ironic)).

Recently, I had a Tinder conversation with a lady that triggered me. I edged. Felt the pain and it basically feels like I relapsed even though there was no O. Now the cycle between alpha and flatline is more pronounced.

Having gone through all of that, I consider my own situation to be a very advanced case of lifetime PMO. I’m highly sensitive to anything PMO related. And, due to my age, my “testosterone metabolism” is much slower than it used to be. So recovery takes more time than you younger guys.

Another realization I’ve had is that after extended streaks, when my zest for life returns, that I’m still immature in handling my newly found drive. Most likely because I simply haven’t had the experience. However, when I do handle my zest like a man, it raises my man functions even further.

Have you ever met a man whose confidence really squashed any bit of confidence you may have had as you were introduced to him? That could be anyone of us. The key is understanding what’s happening and not feeling depressed about it, but using this guy as a target. Convince yourself that you can match that dude’s confidence and exceed it. It may take some time, but the key is being aware of why this occurs and doing something about one step at a time.

Also, on the flip side. Pick out those who are deeper in PMO than you are. Be aware of them and don’t feel bad for using them as stepping stone towards your target male figure. Don’t have a target male figure? It could be because they avoid you; you’re not much of a stepping stone for them. Go out and test some guys, you’ll find him. Target that bastard and exceed.

Anyway, this is where I’m at in my journey. I hope this helps someone out there gain perspective in their own situation.

LINK – Middle aged man’s perspective after a month

By FreedomGoal