It has been 1 year today that I formed my second NoFap streak goal. Instead of making a long winded post, I am just going to list some of the greater accomplishments in my streak to provide motivation for the rest of you who aren’t taking initiative or who are making excuses to put this challenge off.
1) I am about to graduate from my masters program (something I couldn’t have done without the motivation from NoFap).
2) I have stronger eye contact and get checked out by both beautiful and ratchet looking women.
3) I form more lasting and loving relationships with people I just met, new friends, old friends, family members etc.
4) People notice and comment on my charisma and confidence and wonder where it comes from.
5) I have asked out many girls, gotten many numbers, felt many rejections (to which I laughed at), delved more into online dating and have had decent benefits from it, had received successful oral sex without PIED and found a potential gf.
6) Stopped caring what other people say or think about me.
7) I have limited the amount of television watching I do and instead replaced it with mastering my craft in my career through studying, finding a job and reading more.
8) Stopped coming to the forums as much because I felt it became more of a crutch than a helpful tool (I think it is a good thing to have , especially in the beginning when you are frazzled by how immense the mountain you are about to climb really is, but when you become successful you don’t need to rely on it like a security blanket anymore imo).
9) I don’t see women as sexual objects anymore but instead beautiful creatures who are most definitely the fairer sex.
10) I started eating healthier, exercising and meditating more and practicing greater self-discipline.
There you have it, 10 benefits in 1 year. You better believe there were more but I am listing only the most relevant ones that come to mind. Some other things I just want to mention are the following: If you are doing NoFap, it is not a replacement to a crappy life you may already be living. What I mean is that if you have a sedentary lifestyle and are a couch potato, NoFap is the match to get the fire going, it is up to you to keep the fire fed and make a change, or you will continue to be Mr. Potato Head. The best way to commit to NoFap is to get outside of your comfort zone every single day and stop going against the grain and start going with it. One other thing I want to mention is that while I was going through this transformation, many people had expressed strong resentment about exposure to any sort of sexually explicit material outside of porn. Now I agreed with them for the most part. In my mind, graphic porn was definitely fueling my addiction and the cause of it. Some argued however that fantasizing and reading erotic stories were also fueling that same fire as explicit graphic porn. But later on I started to realize that fantasizing and even dirty talk with a potential mate was okay and may have even benefited me in the long term. If you believe non-explicit porn is causing further damage and stick with this notion, I think that you are doing a great disservice to you and your potential partner because you are killing the means to build needed sexual tension. Now if you want to refrain from sex altogether and want to build yourself up, that is awesome and I commend you for it. I wasn’t doing this challenge for women, I was doing this challenge because I felt like I was constantly filling hole I couldn’t fill. So by that token I want to say that I am not putting anyone down or saying you are wrong to build yourself by avoiding all sexual contact. That is perfectly fine and I applaud you for that. If you are interested though in pursuing women or men (whatever you fancy) and you don’t partake in completely refrain I feel you will begin and continue to feel more and more like a unic. From my findings of building sexual connections with women, I went through what I like to call my Lame Duck period where I couldn’t build sexual tension with women and just felt avoidance in partaking in potential sexual activities. But then I started to realize that girls are just as horny as we are and a lot of them also watch porn. What I started to think was how are we supposed to form a sexual connection without women who are being stimulated to sex like we once were and how many women still are doing whether it be from porn, fantasy and erotic stories etc while we are in this Lame Duck period and avoid sexual contact and anything related to it altogether? The answer I think is you truly cannot. Therefore, there comes a point in this process I feel that if you are interested in pursuing women or men, you must become sex positive again without the explicit graphic exposure to porn. I started to realize when I dropped this attitude that things started to change and I started to connect with women a lot more sexually. Until we are all on the same level where porn and being stimulated by means of porn is completely erased (which will probably never happen), we cannot be on the same level sexually. Sorry if this doesn’t make sense to some in advance. Ask questions if you need clarification.
I will leave you with one final related thought. Recently I have been listening to Eric Thomas’ motivational videos and he talks about committing to whatever it is that you choose to pursue in life. If you commit to that thing 100%, you will succeed. Now I don’t have to tell you that life can really suck ass some times. Whether it be in relationships where you are building trust and performing favors or body building where you are increasing your weight gains each week and pushing yourself harder and harder towards exhaustion or even in academics where you take on another hour you didn’t have to begin with to find extra time in working longer on that paper you have been fighting to finish, it all comes down to the same principle. These tasks are hard but you can be successful if you commit to them over and over again and condition yourself. Success is not luck of the draw, it is a conditioned response. It hurts to get what you want but I bet you that if you push through that pain you will get the reward you desire, so long as you keep working on it until it is achieved. That is all. If you have any comments or questions, leave them below and I will try to answer them. If not, I just want to thank all of those people who offered me suggestions and the boards for existing. Many times these boards had kept my head on straight throughout the entire process. I couldn’t have done it without you ladies and gentlemen. Keep fighting the good fight, but do us both a favor and fight it now. Your future self will thank you for it tomorrow.
TL;DR : Earned 10 benefits from NoFap. Learned something interesting about sexual connections between men and women. Found success in commitment.