I used porn to masturbate since I was about 11 and didn’t know it would be a problem until last August when my girlfriend and I got together. All was well until the first time we tried to get intimate – I just couldn’t get excited. Luckily she was very supportive and told me it was okay, but I knew something was wrong, since I never had this problem when watching porn.
Then, on one afternoon I was alone at home I PMO’d and felt terrible afterwards. I watched videos on pornfree and all that, and I was determined. It took well over the suggested time (about 6 or 7 months) before things went back to “normal”, but it was still really rare for me to orgasm without me finishing it, and it made my girlfriend really self aware. Even if I couldn’t always finish, I found it really enjoyable to please her. I believe this is the reason I went 1 year without any slips, although with a lot of cravings. When they happened I always came here and browsed a bit, made me feel a ton better to see I’m not alone
This Monday something changed. I started doubting pornfree, and my girlfriend agreed to watch porn with me. I came quicker than I ever did with her, but she didn’t enjoy it one bit. What was more surprising, it didn’t feel any special for me either. All the time I spent being nostalgic about porn, it was nothing like it. In a way I don’t mind resetting my badge since 1, it’s not like I lost all my progress, I see it as a minor setback 2, the myths surrounding porn in my mind are gone. It’s not any good, it’s just pictures, nothing like the real deal.
We figured we would try [watching porn]. It turned out neither of us enjoyed it so we agreed not to do it. It was a great insight into how addictions work – most of the excitement came from the moments leading up to the actual thing (and I know this sounds really weird), like typing in the url and browsing threads.
IMO it’s not worth it, it’s just too much hassle for what it’s worth. If you think putting on a condom kills the mood, imagine this: you’re taking time messing with a computer when you could be with a real person, and then during the act you’re looking at the screen instead of them. It just doesn’t feel intimate, even though there are articles claiming it can be a good thing for your relationship.
tl;dr: get a gf, be honest with her, and realize your brain is trying to trick you to watch porn
LINK – How I managed to go 1 year without and why I restarted
By IAteATorchic
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