I am 55 days clean of porn as of now. This is after many years of PMO. Around 15 years or so, give or take a year. Over the years, I have experienced constant “brain fog”. I keep feeling tired, unmotivated, weak, socially anxious and my self-confidence was at an all time low.
Now that I look back, it was a miracle that I even managed to graduate college and find a job. I was constantly forgetful and sleepy. Even though I slept 7-8 hours the night before. It was a dark period. Because I thought I was meant to be like this. Porn also altered my perspective of relationships and ladies. It made me so shameful that I hardly had the balls to talk to ladies at all, much less having female friends or girlfriends. I was emotionally numb, I felt nothing but anger and frustration at nothing. I gained so much weight in college, I looked like a ball on legs, and this further pulled down my self esteem. But before coming on Reddit, I had no idea what the problem was. I found the NoFap and subsequently the Pornfree sub-reddits and I learned that porn was the poison, porn is the demon, porn is the prison.
Ever since I quit porn, I replaced it with going to the gym, meditating and reading more. And like freaken magic, I became more confident with ladies. I can actually talk, joke and flirt with them now. The clouds fogging up my brain have been lifted, nowadays I have way way more focus and discipline. I have lost weight and I actually have a nice shape now. The urge to watch porn is not even there anymore. I have more respect for women and a whole new perspective of inter-personal relationships now. I am no longer constantly tired and look like a panda. Now I look like a proper human being 🙂
I still have much to improve on, but this is by far the biggest transformation I have seen in myself and I want to encourage everyone suffering from porn addiction to seek help from other people and within yourself. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. Stay strong y’all!
LINK – Why I kicked porn