I am a 28-year-old bisexual man. I never thought women liked me. I always had trust issues with them (and with world in general!).
Ever since I discovered Porn (around the age of 15!), my relationships have followed a predictably ominous pattern with even more disastrous results.
I grew up with an abusive dad. I still live with him and see him abuse my brother every single day.
I have a lot of parental and anger issues. Whenever I got close to someone, I would take that anger out on them and the relationship would be over before it even began.
Now, thanks to therapy, I have created some distance between me and Dad and my issues have gotten better.
My life, and my career were in doldrums. I very rarely felt great, was always tired, and my self esteem was in shambles.
Now I don’t have a huge streak. But I have gone on a lot of small streaks since the last 2 months. Currently, a small one is going on.
Here’s a report of the changes in life:
- Began to realize how porn is just fake stimulation of the brain, this was first step of learning that you will hear a lot on anti-porn forums but you HAVE to go on a NoFap streak to realize it for yourself. Real sex will probably never be the same. Porn is beginning to feel disgusting now! (MAJOR, MAJOR VICTORY FOR ME!)
- My anger control is a million times better!
- My social anxiety is beginning to wane quite evidently!
- My relationship with Dad hasn’t improved because he’s an awful person. But it hasn’t gotten worse and I have not let our fights get to my head.
- I realized my career priorities and it’s now beginning to take a shape. I negotiated to move my then fulltime employer into a task-based contract. That was a relief because I hated working fulltime with them. They had no clue of how to manage an employee (just a bunch of sycophants coming together to create something). I was a newbie to marketing and I was discriminated over my political views and I was humiliated for small tiny mistakes over email. Once I moved out, I have started getting closer to my goal of creating my own website. I love English language and editing. So currently looking jobs in that area!
- Sex is better. I perform well and am generally more satisfied at the end.
- Probably the funniest thing is I cautiously wear underwear now because I am afraid I would get a hard-on in public!