I wrote this post yesterday on my webpage and wanted to share my victory and encourage and also be of any help I can be! Are you wrapping up 2018 and wondering if you will ever quit porn? Do you have high hopes that 2019 may be different but struggle with doubt?
Well I had handled these 2 situations year after year after year… A year would end and I would feel hopeful, but the new one would start and I would feel doubtful… It was a never ending cycle hope-doubt-guilt-shame… What would it look like if you were to really change in 2019?
Well, on August 20th 2017 I made the decision to quit porn for good. Yes, I had done that many many times but this time, it was different. I had come to a point where I believe I hit rock bottom and this is usually where the big decisions happen. Looking back at that time and reflecting on what my answer would have been for the question “What would it look like if you were to really change?”, I know it was pretty obvious for me…
3 Things I did to help me quit porn and stay healthy for the past 16 months:
1. I got real with God, with myself, and with my Wife – This was not an easy one but it was the most life changing. I began to get really honest about my internal wounds, pain, and frustrations. Holding onto these things only makes your life harder than it already is…
Repent and give them up to the Lord – He wants to be our easy yoke… the one who strengthens us in our utter weakness.
Realize your emotions matter and you need to identify them. Satan will attack you, lie to you, and scheme against you so that you believe the absolute worst things about your life.
Communication is so vital, especially when in a Marriage. Let your Spouse be a light to your healing and not a police officer. When I got Helena involved, while she began taking steps to heal from the betrayal, I was inspired and reminded daily that I needed to quit for more reasons than myself.
2. I began to understand the magnitude of The Cross – This one was the absolute definite game changer for me. Sure, if you’re not someone who wants to pursue seeking the truth of this incredible act of love then this step will not resonate, but I am challenging you to seek out truth instead of ignoring it… Thats what I did up until I was 22 years old – I was a born again Christian and what I have received from Jesus is more than I could ever imagine.
The Cross, to me, was just “something that happened” for far too long… I was jaded and constantly doubting the reality of what it means for me. Jesus met me in this time of selfishness and radically transformed my heart. I began reading the Gospels, praying from a grateful heart, and sitting in awe as someone who does not deserve what Jesus did for me. This changed absolutely everything and I could feel myself changing from the inside out – THIS IS SO KEY to healing from porn addiction and quitting masturbation all together!
3. I had a vision for my life – I knew WHY I was quitting porn and it propelled me forward each and every day. I will add in that Helena helped me set this vision by drawing some very definite boundaries for my porn addiction and anytime I acted out.
I knew that I wanted a greater relationship with Jesus
I knew that I wanted to have self respect, confidence, and my dignity back
I knew that I wanted to have a marriage that absolutely flourished
I knew that I wanted to be a light and not a shadow
All of these things and MANY MORE got me up in the morning and inspired me to read, to journal, to communicate, and to get connected to a support group.
Yes, there are many more things you can do, should do, and will do. And no, it is not easy, quick, or something you can just do here and there… Take this seriously and you will seriously change your life!
LINK – 3 tips after being porn free for 16 months
by Secret Habit
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