476 Days In It Happened: I Lost My Virginity at 30

I couldn’t wait to tell you guys. Without NoFap this would NEVER of happened. I owe you guys my life.

I met her on online. We’ve been on a dozen or so dates and I think I’ve found the love of my life. She is gorgeous. I tried online dating dozens of times before but always failed. This time things were different. It’s like the girls could tell I was different through the computer.

The dates were different too. I wasn’t this ball of anxiety leading to a dinner date so awkward the tables next to us noticed. I was still nervous… but it came across differently. The energy was coming from a positive place.

A few words of wisdom for those out there who are struggling.

  • Keep going after it. I failed for probably a year and a half before I got my current streak.

  • Meditate. Start off small. I used to try and meditate for long periods of time. It led to me not being excited about it. Start off super small, like five minutes, and focus on doing it every day. Learn to love it. When you love it, then increase the time.

  • Learn. There are some really good programs out there to beat the addiction. They make a BIG difference. Spending a little bit of time everyday learning keeps you in the right headspace, keeps motivation high and prevents over confidence. I went through most of the NoFap programs out there. TestFap taught me how to use cognitive behavoir therapy to fight the urges. CBT made fighting the urges “easy.” Havard’s Class on Positive Psychology taught me that Happiness leads to success and not the other way around. They then gave me empirically tested tools to increase my happiness.

  • Find small things you can master. I know this sounds kind of odd… but success leads to success. I started learning guitar, Linux, & gardening while on NoFap. When you see a plant grow or play a new song, or learn something new. Celebrate it. You start feeling like you are always winning. It pours over into NoFap.

Some of the other benefits:

  • I laugh a lot more. I’ve always loved watching comedy specials. I legit laugh 3-4x more at the same specials.

  • My gym workouts are INTENSE. The extra intensity has showed up in sexier body. The girlfriend constantly compliments me on it.

  • I don’t fear challenging conversations. I used to be afraid asserting myself in meetings at work. Now, I handle myself confidently.

  • My skin looks better. It’s hard to explain since I didn’t really have acne… but my skin looks more vibrant. One girl I work with asked what facial products I use.

  • I’m happier. I wasn’t depressed before… I was kind of numb. I feel so much more alive.

  • I’m not tired all the time. I used to sleep all the time. Constant naps. Always tired.

I would be in a bad place if it wasn’t for finding NoFap. Thank you guys.

I’m more than happy to answer any questions!

The hardest times are right after a relapse…. especially if your motivation is low.

I found myself doing some sketchy stuff midway through visiting some subreddits that were known to have NSFW content or watching game of thrones. I realized it while journaling and adjusted.

I feel like there are sooo many teenagers on here (it’s a good thing. I wish I found out about it when I was 17. It would have been a lot easier to kick)

I’m no expert in meditation. It’s my understanding the the wandering is good…. it’s the opportunity to practice mindfulness. If you’re mind was perfectly clear, you wouldn’t need to meditate : )

Learn how to cope w/ the urges not just say No. Saying No w/ willpower is flawed as well. Willpower is like a muscle. Eventually, it will get tired and when it’s tired you won’t be able to fight the urge. Google CBT — it’s the most effective way I found. There are a lot of YouTube videos on it. Pretty much it teaches you how to dispute the thoughts in your mind. As you change your thinking over and over again… eventually the urges change. Saying “No” over and over doesn’t change your thinking… it’s like saying don’t think of the pink elphant in the room.

It’s not like everything goes away if I slip up… what matters is that I get back on the horse again quickly.

I’m not a chick magnet. My advise would be this though. Girls like guys that have their shit together. I didn’t. I started fixing myself and things got better.

[We met on] eHarmony : ) I don’t think it works for people who aren’t serious. Lot’s of christians on there too (not a bad thing… but I’m atheist). People on there want relationships — not one night stands.

[I was addicted for] 13ish years.

[How was the experience?] It’s hard to describe. It’s not overrated. I loved it. But, I put it on a pedestal.

There is more to nofap than just the “superpowers” porn is unhealthy for your mind and body like smoking.

I practice transmutation regularly.

LINK – 476 Days In It Happened: I Lost My Virginity at 30

By GTRRicer