This is a long one boys. tl:dr’s are for losers
I wanted to write this to give back, I thought it incredible that we a community like this to help guys who’ve lost their way in life due to a myriad of factors. While i’ve never actually used these forums other than for informing myself of how to do this, i still thought id share my story. I’ve experienced benefits beyond what I thought possible, and I hope by sharing my story and some tips that I can at least help some of you get through and improve your lives. We are here not to be the best in the world, but the best we can be. This snowballed out of control for me and improved many facets of my life. I’m by no means a finished product but I would of never envisioned myself come so far.
I want to try to get you motherfuckers to see the benefits in not relapsing and some practical advice that helped me through this. I don’t know the exact amount of days in my streak, I cant remember exactly which day I started(it around was the beginning of June 2018) because I really didn’t think this would number 1, have any benefit, and number 2, I would ever last longer than 2 weeks without porn. I’m at 5 months without porn, went about 4 months hard mode, after hard mode I finally started smashing. Don’t even fucking do it if you jerk off without porn, do it hard mode, suck it up, it’s only hell for the first month and a half.
So I started out as usual, long time porn use since probably 11 or so, mostly every day with about the biggest break of a month a couple years ago, currently 20, so 9 years of hardcore porn use which led to harder and harder shit. I was always working out since age 12, so I guess that sorta offset some of the negative effects due to the creation of new dopamine receptors, otherwise I don’t think id have many receptors left.
I first heard of nofap about 2 years ago, thought nothing of it. What fucking benefit could I get from not jerking off? I mean porn use made me last forever, which turned out actually horrible. Could not finish with a girl for the life of me, I could go hours without finishing, and continued porn use demotivated me further.
So finally I heard of it again, then started looking at the benefits, more confidence, less social anxiety, energy, motivation etc. I knew if I had to break this addiction (and trust me this is an addiction, a serious one) and fix my brain, I had to do on hard mode. When I actually went for this thing I relapsed once, at around the 2 week mark, right before the relapse I was already feeling better, more confident and energized, so I took a note of how I felt before, and how I felt after. Went on a fantastical porn binge and after I finished, everything felt lifeless, dull almost. And yeah that chaser effect was a bitch to get past. I remember I went to McDonalds to get some food after that (yeah) and even the fucking food felt dull, I felt lazy and just horrible. Every time I wanted to relapse after that I remembered how I felt and the resolve came back.
Then a strange thing happened, after the first month and a half (I never kept exact dates) I noticed my craving for porn just wasn’t there. Imagine it like this, imagine your addiction as a rope, ropes are made up of threads, the more threads the stronger your addiction. At the start I would always crave it, but day by day the threads on the rope started to break, one by one, until that month and a half mark. Then it happened, the rope snapped in half, there went my addiction. Lets day that day was day 47, so on day 46 I still had some cravings, but when day 47 hit, the craving to go on google for porn just stopped completely, like the rope snapping and I honestly didn’t have any cravings after that, I was horny don’t get me wrong, but never for watching porn, and the rest of the journey was smooth sailing.
What I’m saying is it will be tough at the start, but through positive reinforcement of your increased confidence, energy and diminishing social anxiety, it will create a feedback loop where you want to NOT watch porn. It also just breaks off after a while and makes it easy for you. So yes the “superpowers” are true, more confidence, less fucks given, much more focused, more motivation, happier because your dopamine receptors aren’t getting fried, better connections with people, sex feels as it should, you just fucking feel like a man. Overall it’s a feeling of possibility, when I was watching porn, I felt sort of hopeless, because of the dopamine rush you lose motivation completely.
Some tips. Mediation helped me so much. I had withdrawal symptoms in the first month where I’m fucking shaking I needed it, but whenever I sensed that urge was getting strong I would meditate right away, daily, don’t fucking miss a day, do it twice a day, once is not enough, start off twice at 10 minutes, then twice at 15, and cap out twice at 20. It is a must to get you through this process and help you overall. It keeps you calm, have mental clarity, be alert and creative in social situation as well as at home. I notice I’m most creative when I meditate, but the goal is to not have any thoughts go through your mind, I sometimes allow it if I need some creative lines or solutions. Ive never done guided meditations, only looked on youtube amygdala frequencies, and use that as I meditate. When I first started meditating I never felt much, but after I got better at stopping my thoughts, my brain felt so stimulated, almost a pleasureful stimulation that lasts after it about 10 minutes, but the overall effects of calmness and presence in the moment last until you stop. Be wary that it might take a couple months or more to start really noticing the effects, it’s like working out, you don’t notice the progress until an “oh shit” moment.
Weird thing but after I noticed music becoming a little more enjoyable, don’t know how to explain that.
Now with the increased energy you have desire to meet new people, new girls, this will force change in your brain so you will only feel rewarded when you get a new girl, NOT when you jerkoff with porn.
Fucking lift, no questions, do it. It stimulates new dopamine receptors so you end up feeling more normal. Increases testosterone so you feel more confident, focused and motivated. Gyms while are not social places per say, can be a good opportunity to meet people. Feel great, look great, repeat. It’s a 2 part cycle.
I never thought I’d need it, but at the start I had to put fucking restrictions on my phone. Try to randomly put in a password so you don’t turn it off. Cant even tell you how many times I tried guessing the combo and failed, but it kept me straight.
Keep the focus on improving yourself, this is what delayed gratification is for. In hard mode we delay pleasure for 3 months minimum, that includes sex, porn and jerking off, SO THAT in the future, when we smash it will actually feel incredible and your overall life, with the increased confidence and energy will improve. Delayed gratification in essence is, investing for the future, sure you reduce your spending money by investing, but you reap rewards later that far outweigh the initial investment.
Final note, don’t go back, even after you finished a 3 month reboot, or more even, don’t fucking go back EVER. You’re energy is much better used for real life women than it ever will for porn. Porn doesn’t give you experience, connections, memories. It gives you an easy way to become a loser in life. I’m not against porn itself, just the negative effects it has on us.
Any other questions you have, just fucking ask. Don’t be pussies, take charge of your life.