When I regained the joy of life again, the realization that I previously had blamed all of my shortcomings on others (and other things and circumstances) started to sink in. I slowly became more and more convinced that my previous destructive and negative thinking and attitude had been the causers of my previous tribulations, struggles and setbacks in life. Apart from these newly gained insights, I also noticed that my body (not only my mind and soul) started to heal and glow in a way I never thought possible. Some of the following physical and mental traits changed dramatically during the first six months and continued to do so gradually over time as the brain (with all its previously destroyed neuron connections) started to heal and detox as well:
-Higher testosterone levels (which probably explained the permanent mood-change).
-Gaining more masculine features (widened face and chin, more visible jaw-lines, steady look, better facial skin and texture of hair, leaner muscles, fatter penis, better facial hair growth).
-More Steady and controlled body-movements (better motor skills)
-Better and more steady voice (used to fluctuate more before)
-Increased attraction from women
-Increased affection and curiosity from animals
-Loss of depressive thoughts, anxiety and most social anxiety.
-More, energy, drive and motivation.
-Better anger-management skills.
-Loss of interest in seeking approval from others.
-Increased self-control (easier to abstain from junk-food, sweets, pastries, alcohol, etc)
And the list could go on and on and on. There were of course a few minor setbacks as well in the form of occasional semen-leakage (after peeing) and increased prejizz-production. For those of you dudes who don’t get the latter and might think: “Lucky you who can produce your own lubricant” I can only tell: “no, it’s not as awesome of an advantage as you might think, it’s rather annoying and plays games with my mind still. I can’t even be aroused for even a minute or two before I have plenty of it puringg out, making my underwear feel sticky”. That’s why I am (still to this day) almost avoiding the kind of interactions that might generate any prejizz.
I also got close to a relapse 5-6 months after my NoFap journey begin. I had been travelling around in the Balkans (Serbia, Bosnia and Croatia) for a week or two when I slowly started to feel quite miserable, lonely and sad again without knowing why. I was almost thinking about go fapping to alleviate these feelings but thinking back on my former life, I didn’t consider it a good idea. After my return to Sweden, I realized (after analyzing it a bit closer) that it was the deviation from my good, normal habits that created the minor havoc on my brain and mind. Not keeping up with the same good diet, drinking a beer or two daily, eating too many sweets and slacking with the reading wasn’t a good move (especially not after contracting that heavy flu during the second week).
I felt like I was thrown back several steps on my NoFap-journey but was still determined to at least not masturbate again and do the best I could to get back on track for the remainder of my vacation-trip.
It wasn’t really until I had returned to Sweden I started to take this journey really seriously again. I got out of it by thinking what I wanted and not what I didn’t want.
My advice for those of you who want the most out of the NoFap-benefits, I recommend you to develop and/or continue with all your good habits and start discarding the bad ones, one at a time. Because, the day you start to slack with these (and your life’s goals and purposes), the slippery (relapse)-slope you slowly embark on can get slippery very fast and before you know it, you are back at square one again.
The worst things I suffered from during this darker period during my hard-mode journey was probably the feelings of self-pity and loneliness. I felt like the loneliest and saddest person in the world as I was walking down the streets of Belgrade and Sarajevo. I was once again stuck in the former counter-productive, self-victimizing mindset that is called the oneitis-syndrome. In other words, the concept that only if I had a girlfriend here and now, I would feel great instantly and all of my troubles, concerns, shortcomings and complexes would magically disappear, just like in any of those Hollywood or Disney-movies. I might be generalizing but most men these days seem to suffer from one-itis in one form or another and never care about working with themselves and overcome these crippling feelings and thoughts by doing some serious work from within.
Because, it all starts on the inside and the more you become detached from the external world and what’s happening in it, you will begin to heal for real and the needy and desperate feelings for others’ approval will slowly fade away. This isn’t easy in any regard but will ultimately set you free in mind and spirit when you are on your way. One good way to know you really are on your way is to be okay with and accepting the following scenario: You might be single and never ever have sex again during your entire lifetime. If you want to take it even further, consider being on a deserted island in the middle of an ocean, not seeing a single soul for your entire life. If you are okay with that, you have become quite enlightened and developed a strong spiritual side that 99% of people in the developed world don’t possess. It baffles me to see all these people who have recently been heartbroken after their last relationship ended and who can’t stay single for even a few months until they need to find a new partner to fill in that void they just got left with.
That time should not be used chasing for a new partner right away (as being attached to external factors will never make you feel happy or fulfilled) but rather be used for reflection and development of your mental and spiritual powers which will bring you more fulfillment and success in the future. Almost everyone will notice and sense this type of person who has a peace of mind whenever he/she enters a room. Not only that, this kind of people are very capable of and inclined to talk about the deeper and more profound issues of life itself. Ever since the beginning of my NoFap-streak, I have myself become more repellent to and uninterested in socializing with people who only talk about superficial and meaningless subjects who have no meaning to me. Although I have a quite open mind and always give people a chance, I usually leave these conversations politely when I realize I won’t get any kind of intellectual exchange from them.
Apart from that, the benefits continued to appear gradually over the upcoming six months and I dare say that even to this day, the cycle of slowly regaining my masculine traits, confidence and self-acceptance hasn’t come to a halt at all. It still continues but with more gradual and progressive changes than it did right at the start of the streak. It is hard to describe but prolonged periods of NoFap hard-mode (in combination with good and productive habits) really makes you glow, shine and radiate a sort of confidence and grounded-ness that few men these days possess. That fact makes me feel a bit sorry for most men out there who will continue to live in the PMO, blue-pill matrix for the remainders of their lives, not even being receptive to the concept of NoFap, semen-retention and the aspects of self-improvement that comes with it. They will continue to waste and dispose of their life-force and hence drive, force, motivation and all of that creative power that could make them millionaires (and social magnets) within a decade or less.
These days, it becomes more and more evident why the men who spend years and decades in voluntary celibacy (living a very aesthetic lifestyle) look so young, fresh, vital, glowing and at peace with themselves. They have practiced semen-retention and self-mastery for so long that they have gained extraordinary powers that very few men possess in the developed world. Although I am probably not going to live my entire life in celibacy, I will at least shoot for two full years of NoFap hard-mode and see where it leads from there. This Indian man has practiced it for almost his entire life and doesn’t look older than a Western 80 year old which is amazing in itself:
Although I am not aspiring to live an entire life in celibacy (since I want to have a wife and family in the future), it feels great that sex, lust and the time-consuming pursuit of women is no more on my priority list and I am totally fine with that fact. Instead, I can focus all my force, drive, and motivation to build up a great life for myself in the first place. A life in which I aspire to not only to sell the products and services that people desire but also enjoying it in the process. Another long-term goal I have is to become economically independent so I can donate to and get involved in causes that I really care about while never have to worry about my personal finances either. It might take some time but the goal is to having achieved that kind of success within the next 15-20 years.
Shooting for that passion, combined with the financial and entrepeneurial success will be key to live the great life I want to live. Everything else (finding a woman, new social circles, getting in touch with new people) will align accordingly so that’s the least of my concern. I might have mentioned this in one of my previous posts but I did actually resign from my position at my (now former) position last May and it was one of the biggest reliefs I have felt for years. Having worked for a big Life-Science company (connected to Big Pharma) for 4 ½ years did really have a big impact on my spiritual, mental and physical health (the latter mostly due to sleep-deprivation). During the last 1/2 year of service, I essentially dreaded to wake up every morning before heading to work, performing those quite similar, monotonous and mundane laboratory-tasks over and over again. Not only was it paid poorly (despite having a MS-degree), I was never given any more demanding tasks which of course led me to completely lose motivation and drive to continue in that company. Add onto that having to see many depressed colleagues on a daily basis who had a poor attitude, lack of purpose, drive and motivation to pursue any other career.
Yes, I know they need the money ASAP but there are always better alternatives around the corner or elsewhere if you put in the effort to look for them. Either in the form of positions at other companies (with a better corporate-culture, pay, colleagues, tasks, etc) or through something you can start on your own. A business for example, in which you provide goods and/or services that people want and desire. The possibilities and opportunities are indeed almost endless if you open up your mind and start looking around you. Indeed, it is mostly your own fears (primarily the fear of failure, poverty, illness, old age, and others’ judgements), insecurities, resistance to change and negative thinking that prevent these ideas and alternative lifestyles from not only becoming a reality, but even showing up as an viable alternative in the first place. Those are probably the main reasons for why +98% of people continue to work as employees within the same company (or another one in the same branch) for their entire lives, earning a meagre income in the process. Add to the fact that most people aren’t even ready to save a measly 10% or more of their income in assets that will eventually make their money grow with time, giving them more maneuver space regarding their private finances. Instead, they spend money on quickly depreciating liabilities that will be almost worthless within 5-10 years (new cars, flatscreen-TV:s, new clothes, shoes, boats, motorcycles, etc) like there was no tomorrow.
Few of them not wanting much more financially (and spiritually) than what’s needed to go around and the awaiting pension. That is of course okay if that’s what they want and prefer but I am quite sure most of them don’t and they are usually unaware about the mind and how it really works. In fact, by thinking thoughts associated with scarcity, poverty and fear almost on an almost daily basis, they will get just that and hence, their lives and occupations never become abundant, rich, flourishing and meaningful as a result. I remember at my former workplace where I didn’t even question why I was even working there (performing the tasks I did) for the first 3 ½ years. I just thought I was only there for making money (providing for myself) and hopefully acquire some future work-skills, maybe move on to another company because that’s what everyone else does, right?
Not until the last 6-7 months of employment, I finally considered I wasn’t going anywhere since I didn’t develop and found the tasks highly unstimulating. Plus, I had very few friends in this insular small town I was living in and barely knew anyone outside of work. What the heck was I doing here? I was working a job at a large corporation with tasks that were mundane, monotonous and unstimulating overall. In this small town 250 km from home, with colleagues I didn’t have much in common with. Therefore, it was last October I finally took the decision to resign from my position and move from this town so I could get closer to home. Said and done, in February, I handed in my resignation-letter, proclaiming I would work until the second week in May after which I would no longer be an employee at the company. It was such a relief to turn in that letter and even bigger of a relief to leave that office, laboratory and building a few months later. I was finally free to pursue the kind of life I wanted to, working with something I had more of a passion for and that would eventually paid off in the long run, even if it would be poorly paid (or even unpaid) in the beginning. I decided from that point on that I would never be an employee again and rather make my own living (from my own business, providing excellent service to my customers), even if meant less of a paycheck for some time. I have read a lot (one book/week) and done a lot of self-studying in those and related topics and before the end of year, the goal is to have at least launched the blog-site and hopefully the online-service as well.
I might have been deviating a bit from topic in the paragraphs above but the meaning with it was to describe and clarify that a longer NoFap-streak (hard-mode) really makes you questioning the status quo in all areas of life, no matter where you might be a the moment or might be going in the future. That process of just pausing, thinking thoroughly for some time, start ransacking, questioning and asking what you really want in life is one of those moments that will automatically enter your consciousness as your senses start to heal from all of the previous poisons and pollution that’s been infecting it for years and even decades.
The intense presence you gain from semen-retention is probably one of the best superpowers that comes with it. You learn to appreciate the present moment and all the little things life, no matter how faint and insignificant they might appear to others. A sunset, a cup of tea/coffee, a good meal, seeing your family/relatives, a cute dog wagging its tail, birds singing in the trees, the gentle breeze sweeping in, you name it.
I never used to appreciate those moments back in my PMO-days but these days, I enjoy and praise them because I never know (with 100% certainty) if I am going to wake up alive and be alive when tomorrow has come to an end.
Lastly, although I don’t want to end this long story series and its final part on a negative note, I just need to communicate the blunt-truth for all of you fapstronauts who all hope to find this magical quick-fix solution that will reboot you in only a few weeks:
There is no such thing as a swift, effective and life-changing reboot!!! A full reboot takes a very long time, usually years before it can be considered complete, meaning you have returned to your mental and spiritual pre-PMO state again.
I know this is not easy news to digest but keep in mind that the poison you have been feeding your brain, body and mind consistently for years (aka PMO) have left some very deep trenches in your brain’s grey matter and hence really been messing up the brain’s wiring and neural connections into almost unrecognition. In order to pack and level-out those trenches again, you have to stay away from PMO for years in order to reboot.
Even harder is the news that hard-mode is going to make that healing process go much faster than if you have sex on a regular basis or once in a while. The chances of slipping back to a chaser-effect scenario is larger the earlier in your NoFap streak you are and you will have a much harder time developing the self-control needed to abstain from PMO.
Celibate life for a year or two is actually to recommend since it will give you some needed time for reflection while also making you appreciate life as it is with all its small things and miracles, no matter how petty. You will also develop a strong sense of self, self-acceptance, and that strong motivation and goal-oriented mindset that is crucial for creating the life you really want to live. As you start acquiring these powers, your need for a woman to fulfill some gap or void in your life will slowly start to fade away and so will that entire neediness, p***y-fever, sexual frustration, desperation and one-itis-syndrome you have suffered from during your entire adult life. As a result, you will become champion at keeping your calm and never give women any unnecessary attention and approval (no matter how beautiful), hence rising your own value as a man. How good doesn’t that sound??
The question is: are you ready to pay that hefty price that NoFap-hardmode and semen-retention has (aka, more or less celibacy) for some limited time in your life in order to become a titan, warrior, legionary in the future???
For me, the answer is definitely a resounding yes!!!!
Although I have gained many superpowers over the past years and continue to walk on this path of self-improvement and enlightenment, I am still rebooting after over 18 months of NoFap and it will probably take at least 18 months or more before I am closer to a reboot. Keep in mind that NoFap is a struggle over years, even decades for some that unfortunately not everyone will win but with this story, I hope I can at least reach out to those struggling, give them some useful tools and perhaps improving that percentage.
After all, all I can do is to give you some good tools, the rest is up to you who are currently struggling. Have a vision about the life you really want to live and never let it go, not even in times of despair, hopelessness, agony and frustration!!