Almost 110 days. I feel like a changed man. My social skills are god-tier. I’m happy to wake up every morning. I find myself just smiling and enjoying life like I did when I was a little kid. I have a girlfriend. 6 years. 6 long years of my young developing life I spent trying to quit. I’ve been here since middle school. The years I spent alone, depressed, hiding in front of a video game screen, angry and upset after every social outing because it made me feel like shit.
And you know what? Every day of that six years I was perfectly capable of quiting. Any second I could have pulled the plug. And guess what? So can you. Stop making excuses. Stop running from discomfort. Stop rationalizing and acting like you have a normal problem and that youre just a paladin fighting the porn industry because you’re not, you’re a deformed broken addict. THATS why you’re here.
That’s why your friends can watch porn every week and they’re fine. Porn doesn’t immediately ruin your brain on first consumption any more than alcohol makes you an alcoholic after the first drink. We have a personality flaw. We have no discipline. We never make ourself do the hard thing. We run from discomfort and pain and that is why we are here. Unless you learn to embrace it you will never quit this addiction. There is no other way.
You are capable of quitting at this exact moment. Yes, each and every one of you. If the stakes are high enough you’ll quit. If Bill Gates showed up to your house and offered you 10,000,000.00$ to get 90 days first try every single one of you would quit in a heartbeat. You would do whatever it took. You would still get urges, but you would smile to yourself as you ignored them and imagined what color your Lamborghini was going to be.
You have the last say over every urge, period. No urge can control you unless you let it. If I put a gun to your head and said “don’t fap ” during your next urge you wouldn’t do it. YOU ARE CAPABLE. It has to matter enough to you.
This is my farewell and thank you to this sub, I will probably check in a couple times a year but at this point this sub is holding me back more than pushing me forward. I wish each and every one of you the best of luck. I was a different man 90 days ago living a different life. I would rather die than return to that kind of living forever.
Decide for yourself if you are going to continue logging on to reset your badge every 1-5 days or if you are going to take control of your life, embrace the pain as healing, and take your life back from yourself. If this post motivated one person to quit like a similar post motivated me to quit I will sleep soundly for a year.
45-90 were nice in that they weren’t as bad as 1-45, but I’d like to add contrary to what I expected the “benefits” and my happiness didn’t constantly increase in a linear manner. I had some great days and some aweful days that felt like day 7. Most important thing is to not give up. It DOES get better. Much much much better.
Hard mode until day 50, then I was smooth enough to land a girlfriend and there was no reason not to sleep with her.
Your new energy bleeds through everything about you, your smile, your eyes, the way you move, the way you talk, the way you analyze a room, and you attract everyone, males and females alike.
I think one of the biggest faults to this place is the fact that almost everyone who successfully defeats this addiction will outgrow the subreddit and leave, creating an echo chamber of addicts helping make excuses and rationalizing for each other. A chamber of “feel-good” posts and “feel good in the moment motivation” but no ACTION. The point of all of that is for the people who say “I literally can’t quit.”
I was showing them that yes, you can, you just won’t. That little realization made a big difference to me and looks like it did to a lot of others as well.
I feel as if I have a moral responsibility to come back and help others escape just like others helped me.
LINK – Goodbye, I don’t need you anymore, this is my farewell gift