Age 15 – Escalated to extreme stuff, suicidal, developed HOCD – now recovered


Firstly to start off with I’m a 15 year old lad from North England, so hello to many foreigners but this is my success story and how I got over porn addiction. (Sorry if it’s long). So where do I begin? Discovered porn at a very very young age on YouTube and u might think YouTube doesn’t have porn on it and oh it does trust me.

I first started watching stuff like people sexually kissing and it slowly turned into an obsession and addiction every time I was on a computer.

When I was younger about 7 or younger I’d be watching these videos to get the pleasure out of it but still hadn’t discovered masturbation yet. So a couple years doing that and then suddenly discovering the main porn. The real porn the websites I remember seeing the first video at about 10 and I was hooked straight away with it but still hadn’t discovered masturbation yet.

 I kept watching porn all the time non stop. it was affecting my normal life at 10 years old for **** sake. It just shows how much it can affect you and kill you, but then I remember finally discovering it and then I linked the two to porn and bang the addiction was at the all time high.

 I started watching it even more masturbating to it around 3 to 4 times everyday even more sometimes and it quickly escalated into more extreme things ie- stuff out of my own sexuality (which I developed HOCD): gangbangs and all that messed up stuff. Porn induced fetishes, messed up stuff, but didn’t like it. Just to watch and see how it was but all a result of porn addiction.

It became even worse when I noticed myself only being happy with going to my bedroom and watching porn. It all carried on till Easter 2017 – it all suddenly hit me I felt the guilt, the shame, the extreme depression, the laziness, the suicidal thoughts. I literally remember some days around Easter all I could think of for whole days was ways to end my own life. I was so depressed and unhappy. I was lost, didn’t know what was happening to me, felt like I didn’t know who I was.

I need to find an answer I searched on the internet for days to find what was up with me and I remember finding NoFap and it all made sense tbh. And like it’s gonna start to get cringey here but I met the love of my life while I was on my journey, and I can honestly say she helped me through it. She got me through it all. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Like we was going out for about 3 or 4 months and I came clean and told her it all, and like honestly the amount of girls that would of just left and not helped me are like literally every girl. Nope my girl stayed and helped me through it and that’s why she’s gonna be by my side for the rest of my life.

I was nearly there I had relapsed so many times it’s uncountable like I just told myself one day that I’m the one in control, and I wasn’t going to watch it. Obviously my girlfriend helped me get that final push in and it worked. I started doing 10 days then 20, 30, 40 – by the time u know it I hit the 90 days and I felt like a new person.

I completely felt the reboot. My girl asked me all the time what day I was on and I remember telling her I hit 90 days – we were both over the moon. I had made it and she always picked me up every step of the way and now I’m on day 159 and rising and every day. I look back on it and feel amazing the fact I got over it and I wouldn’t of done it without my girl. I just want to post this and let someone read this and think they can do it.

But thank you for reading I hope u enjoyed and it gave u some motivation

LINK – My story 15yr old lad recovered from porn addiction

by Matty007