I’m 18, I started NoFap because I stumbled on it by accident. Had been going on and off for some time (streaks of a few days, then relapsing, few days again, etc. Streaks consistently became a bit longer each time.). At some point I just made it to 21 days or so without really trying and from there on the urges never really came back.
So remember: even if you relapse, look at the bigger picture. You don’t throw everything down the drain, you’re still further than you were at the beginning. I never had PIED.
- no more distorted ideas about what women and sex should be like, but a better image of what to look for in girls (—> read Models by Mark Manson, it fits the NoFap mentality so fricking well)
- more drive to go out there and actually meet women
- mental clarity (NoFap combined with meditation = big win)
- more time at my hands (no more hours on end wasted on bingewatching porn)
- more discipline (for example: I get up at 5 am every morning now, so I can work on my novel)
Porn is bad for multiple reasons:
- First off, and by far the worst, is that it teaches you very wrong things about sex. Porn makes it seem as if sex is all about getting off and having the best orgasm possible, but it is not. Sex is called ‘making love’, and with a reason. The real magic in sex is when you have it with someone whom you really love and whom you really care for. It makes you feel great physically, but also emotionally, because you are pleasing your favourite other person as well. That combination of physical stimulation + emotional stimulation is infinitely better than any orgasm based on pure lust that you will ever get. And guess what; orgasms in porn have nothing to do with love. They based on lust and / or money. And that’s not the way you’ll get happy with sex in your life. I understand where you’re coming from, I’ve been there myself. It’s hard to imagine the difference, but trust me – once you cut down on your porn, you’ll eventually realise and feel this. 🙂
- It also dramatically changes your perspective on the female body. In porn, you (nearly) exclusively see women with bodies that we as society view as ‘perfect’ and you will therefore subconsciously start to think that fucking those women is the only way, or at least the best way, to have good sex. But by thinking in that way, you are missing out on many awesome girls that are nice, exciting, pretty, and actually good partners for you – just because they don’t have the perfect body that is everywhere in sex. I’m not saying that being in a relationship with a ‘perfect’ girl is bad. If you find someone with the ‘perfect’ body with an awesome personality as well, by all means go for it. That is awesome. But don’t let the idea of what sex should be like (as it is in porn) deter you from giving other cool girls a chance.
- It makes you insecure. The men in porn are also often more ‘perfect’ than you are. You think that you are less than average when it comes to attraction and sex and that makes you feel worse about yourself. No need for that; most men have the exact same problem. What you see in porn, is the crème de la crème of men in terms of bodies. You don’t have to be like them.
- Then for the dopamine part; dopamine is a hormone that’s associated with addiction. It’s not what really causes th addiction, but let’s not bother you with that explanation. Point is that a big amount of dopamine in a short amount of time is bad for you. It makes you addicted and less sensitive to smaller feel-good moments that release less dopamine. I.e. you become emotionally numb. If you see your little sister do something great, you think ‘wow, cool’ and then move on. Alternatively, if you are less hung up on big boosts of dopamine, you’ll really value her achievement. You’ll be amazed at how awesome your sister is and be glad that you get to see her grow up into a good person.
- There’s also some pseudo-science on losing your biggest source of energy: sex-drive. Watching porn tricks your brain into thinking you have mated with multiple beautiful women (while in reality porn turns you into a zombie behind the screen who has no sexual partner except himself), so you lose your ‘drive’ to be sexually active. In my own experience this is true. Now that I’m not so addicted to porn (and masturbating, for that matter) anymore, I feel more of an itch to have conversations etc. with girls in real life. It’s an amazing feeling. There’s no science or whatever (as far as I know) to back this up, but my feelings do back it up. :”)
- Awesome site for why porn is so extremely dangerous: yourbrainonporn.com
Tl;dr porn messes up your views on sex, makes you insecure, turns you into a zombie behind your screen, and makes you numb to the number of small good things in your life.
I’ve talked about this with some friends of mine and they were all heavily surprised by this, shows how little-known it is that porn is a problem. Something indeed has to be done about that. 🙂 It’s sad too, because trying to flirt / make eye contact with girls is actually pretty fun, and you totally miss out on that if you just fap away at a pixel girl on your screen ;p
I recall myself at some point being enthralled by bondage porn, but God, trust me, I despise that now.