I just wanted to say how grateful I am to be on this journey with you all. I started my NoFap journey back in around September of 2020. I had a few streaks, but none have been as successful as this.
The positive effects keep coming. I must admit I am in a bit of a flatline, so my anxiety is through the roof at the moment. I truly believe all of these emotions ignored by dulling them down with the rush of fapping has come flooding in as a result of building it up.
The most important thing for me to get to this point is having a growth mindset. Allowing myself to feel the authentic and raw emotion of the world has allowed me to become more in tune socially.
One of the biggest successes by far this year is me joining the EMT program at my local community college. My dream job at the moment is to do wildland firefighting.I have met so many cool people in this class. On my first day of in person school I opened up to my group so much. We are all so close and it only took a few hours to open up.
The social interactions felt impossibly smooth. It was like I was the funniest most confident guy in the world. The excitement from being with those people reminded me I am not an introvert, just have dulled down my social skills as a result of not putting myself out there.
There is a cute girl in class that I decided I was going to try to talk to and take on a date. So to get closer to my group, and specifically her I asked everyone if they wanted to meet up after class for lunch. We all met up, and spent a few hours laughing and getting to know each other.
This girl seemed to have so much in common with me. (Both of us are 18) From our mindset to our music tastes. It felt like we synchronized in the moment. The way she kept looking at me made me feel like a rockstar. She would give me those flirty glances, and I would often catch her staring at me only for her to dart her eyes away. It felt like I did everything right. I was pumped.
After a few days I decided I wanted to ask her out. All of the pent up anxiety came out over the course of a few days. Like a my brain was playing tricks to get me to not talk to her. The next few days we had in person class I slowly became more comfortable with flirting with her. The day came about 3 days ago. One of the biggest motivators for me was when my instructor had me lift one of my arms to wrap a bandage around my body. (Demonstrating splinting). I am a pretty fit guy, and I have abs. My shirt lifted up at the bottom and she was looking me up and down. She would stare deep into my eyes, and the look down at my v line. The passion in her eyes motivated me so much. Alongside how she talked to me blew me away.
Not gonna lie when we were walking out to our cars I froze. I didn’t know what to say. So I hopped in my truck. Humiliated that I was such a pussy and didn’t ask her out when she obviously likes me I started driving. I was waiting at the red light and saw her pull up behind me.
I knew I would regret it if I didn’t ask. So after what felt like 5 hours of anxiety, but in reality was 5 minutes of driving I pressed the call button on my phone. I asked her if she would want to meet up for coffee. She said “Yes! That sounds like a lot of fun!” We planned it out, and tomorrow (Saturday) we are going to local mountain cafe.
The social benefits from NoFap have helped me immensely in getting to this place. I’m a pretty good looking guy, but I would have never thought a girl like her would want to meet up with me. She is beautiful and motivated, so it’s clear she wouldn’t go on a date with just anyone. This feeling of satisfaction is hard to beat. I hope that this date with her will work out. She enjoyed my presence in the group, so my plan is to keep being the guy who I know I am. And hopefully we can continue to build attraction until I can see if she wants to go steady.
The biggest boosts I have found from this journey so far is the confidence I have in just being in my own skin. Although lately the flatline makes me feel like I’d rather be doing anything else. I know it’s only temporary so I’m not worried.
The ability to read social situations is slowly coming back, and it feels like the positive parts of my personality are being amplified. My jokes seem funnier, and people are more comfortable when I make assertive decisions. It also seems like my love for my passions has come back. Every time I hang out with my friends it feels like the relationships grow even deeper.
I guess NoFap has really been about connectivity. Being able to find myself again and interact with the world around me. Hell it even scored me a date! I can’t believe how amazing the effects are. Sometimes it feels like a dream. That’s exactly it. I am starting to live life on my own terms and develop my dreams. Thank you all for keeping this community so amazing!