What’s up guys! Got on this morning like normal and realized I’m on my 60th day!! by the end of today, if I don’t relapse of course (1 day at a time), I’ll have hit two months not just without porn (Been a little over two months without that) but no masturbating! Literally never thought I would get here. Tbh. Longest streak I’ve ever had was 28ish days, and that was only once or twice.
I remember in the past whenever I would hit around a month, I would literally get so horny it was redonkulous. I would have to work out like twice a day just to keep myself from getting off. It’s kind of changed now.
For the past 7 weeks I’ve been at a summer camp as a camp counselor, which definitely helped. I had I think maybe one urge the whole time I was there, just because I was so busy all the time, and during my downtime I was too exhausted to do anything.
LETS ALL LEARN SOMETHING FROM THAT. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. IT HELPS.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve really realized what people mean by NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. Even though I have covenant eyes installed, I haven’t set up an accountability partner (Doing that when I get to college tomorrow), and this week has been real rough. I thought I had gone so long without messing up it was impossible. For the first 5 days I got back, I edged every day. Two of those days I ended up looking at bikini models. Dumb ass mistake. I didn’t mess up, but I realized once again how important it is to not do that. To never let in.
So that’s where I’ve been for the past two months. Here’s the differences I’ve noticed.
Up until this streak, I had a real rough patch. It had been probably 3-4 months since I’d gone more than 2 weeks without PMOing, and I was seriously doubting the benefits of nofap. I was wondering if all the benefits I’d experienced in the past were just placebo effects. They’re not.
As of right now, I’m getting up at 7:00 AM every morning. (without hitting the snooze, that’s very significant for me, I’m the worst snoozer). I get up, take a 2-3 minute cold shower, brush my teeth and shave. Go back into my room, put on a record, and make my bed. (Military style of course! are you even doing self improvement if you’re not going all out lmao!) Then I go downstairs, put on some water for tea, do the dishes, put in a load of laundry, make some oatmeal, and sit and do devotionals for a few minutes. This is an everyday thing. Morning routines are the most important guys. Then I check the news and this. No social media guys. Get rid of it.
(I’m trying to look at how I’m doing objectively first before I get into emotions)
I’ve noticed that as of right now there’s little to no resistance when I want to get something done. You know how you always think of great Ideas or projects to do but never get them done? I used to be like that. This week, I was dealing with the problem of my college dorms not being able to put in a removable pull-up bar on the door (They go all the way to the ceiling), so I legit went to the hardware store, got some stuff, and built a pullup bar that I can attach to my furniture. I literally never would have had the motivation to do something that simple 2 months ago.
Alright, here comes the list of bullet points. MARKED IMPROVEMENTS:
- Sleep quality (not directly related possibly, I did cut out caffeine. At least for now)
- Dedication. I can stick with something now instead of waffling after a couple of days.
- Charisma and enthusiasm for life. I feel like I’m absolutely motivated to be the best. I’ve got great footing atm and I’m going to rock it as soon as I get to college. (junior year)
- Physically, I haven’t been doing FULL workouts lately, but I got some paralletes and I’ve been working on those exercises. (also, if anyone knows how to do a planche PLEASE let me know lmao that stuff is hard.) Going to start full morning workouts in my dorm once I get to college.
- Emotionally, even when I’m at my lowest, I still feel like a champion. I know that the feeling will pass, and I’m not controlled by my emotions. I let them flow, but I still retain that feeling of absolute confidence that comes with nofap.
- Relationally, I’m in a place where I’m not begging for attention. I’m comfortable getting to know guys and girls (just people, not sayin I’m bi.), but I’m not too anxious to date. I’m waiting for the right person. I know I’m in a place where If I wanted to I could put on the moves and get most people I’d be interested in, but most girls are too lazy or spoiled atm. Waiting for one that’s dedicated and motivated and enthused about life. Ya know what I mean?
- Socially, I still have a “little” bit of social anxiety, but I noticed that started when I got home and started edging. Didn’t have that problem before I got back about a week ago. Talking to 9’s and 10’s is completely natural, just not an issue. I’m way more quick on my feet, being witty is more natural, and i genuinely feel like I’m fun to be around.
- Eye contact is great. I still feel like there’s some progress that could be made, but I feel like that’s more on my end than on my addiction’s end if that makes sense. I was at the grocery and made solid eye contact with a fairly hot clerk across the room for a solid 3-4 seconds (for someone across the room that’s a lot), and I looked away first, but it wasn’t because I was embarrassed. I feel like eye contact, especially across rooms is one of the biggest things you can do confidence-wise.
- Except for these last few days when I’ve been edging, my penis is feeling much more natural. Used to be shriveled up when I would PMO, like it was a contracted slinky if you know what I mean, now it’s like a hanging slinky. About double the length flaccid than it used to be, and my erections are much more strong. Getting morning wood really strong, I don’t know if I just wasn’t aware of it before I started, but it’s definitely there now.
- I feel more wholesome when thinking about girls and being in a relationship, I feel like for the first time in a while it wouldn’t be focused on pleasing me but on them and the actual relationship, if that makes sense. I don’t feel dirty when I think about girls anymore.
- Also, I used to be a super timid, introverted, overweight, 8-10 hours a day videogame playing nerd loser who never had a girlfriend. Right now I’m 6’0″, 165 LBS, less than 10% bodyfat, six-pack, the works. (not trying to brag. What I’m trying to say is that all of these benefits I’m talking about were NOT already there when I was addicted to porn. They’re completely new to me (not completely new this streak, but on and off since I quit porn and masturbating)).
- (I’m sure there’s definitely more to this list, but I can’t think of any more atm.)
- This stuff works man. Keep up the faith. Never give up. Go after your ambitions with a passion. Never let your guard down, keep yourself busy, good luck.
LINK – 60 Days.