I am at day 84. I just discovered NoFap a couple of months ago. If you were to tell me in September of last year that I would go 84 days without fapping, I would think you are out of your mind. But here I am. I came for the benefits. I came because I wanted promise of a better life. After 84 days, I am seeing that. But I am also seeing something else, too.
I realized that I used fapping to numb the pain of my life. I have used it as a crutch and a coping mechanism to avoid dealing with my problems.
I first started masturbating when I was 14 and I did it to some pictures of attractive women. My first ejaculation was too good. I couldn’t stop. I then prayed to God to help me stop. I was able to cut it out. For a year. Then I started again. I didn’t start watching porn until 2 years ago. I am 19, turning 20 in a month.
I was able to use fapping as a way to experience sexual relief without having to do the hard work of talking to girls. I considered myself ugly and weak, and I’ve never had any sexual contact with girls. I was always bullied in school especially by people who I considered my friends.
My story is probably the same story as many guys here, who use fapping as a way to deal with the pain of life. I used it to take the edge off. There were many days I felt like crying and I did cry. I also fapped as well. I wanted to squeeze every drop of sexual frustration. I wanted a final orgasm that would make everything feel ok.
Taking away fapping is like a shock to my system. Many days I felt mad, angry, depressed, and full of rage. I felt rage at all of the girls who rejected me and the guys who have fun with them. I felt rage about how they passed me over for some other guys. Then I realized, what makes me different from someone like Elliot Rodger? How am I different from him? I am just another nice guy too afraid to actually ask girls out and too scared to stand up for myself.
I now realize I have to make my life a good one, no one else will do it for me. No one else really cares. I feel as if I’ve been left for dead and had the wool pulled over my eyes. I can only imagine what would happen if I continued on this path.
I have since taken up going to the gym in the morning. I eat a diet of mostly vegetables, grains, and nuts. I wake up early in the morning and meditate.
Now my head is clear and my sight is pristine. It is like being unplugged from the Matrix.
I cried last week because I didn’t believe that I have gotten this far. I cried because I have a lot to be thankful for. I realize what a jerk I have been to my parents in the past and I realize I love them more than anything else.
I cried last week because I realize I have had a ton of opportunities pass me by. I mourned for my lost past.
But I will become a new man.
I am planning for my future after college by budgeting, planning, and working hard.
Reality is real and the air is cold.
I do not have much. I am not much right now, but hopefully that will change in time.
NoFap does not give you superpowers. It does give you perspective to realize where you are in your life and what you need to do to fix it.
Thanks for reading. Stay strong. Stay blessed.
LINK – Day 84 – some realizations about NoFap
I’ve been on this journey for quite a while now and I have experienced all of the physical benefits and then some. But the part I like the most is the drive combined with the desire to get up off your ass and do SOMETHING, anything.
You feel full. You feel full of vitality and life force. Your nutsacks are not empty. You don’t feel drained.
Nofap absolutely strips away the pervasive weakness that plagues many people in society. And lots of people love their weakness. They love feeling like victims. They love feeling helpless. They love having no responsibility for their lives.
I go out and about in society today…and I look at these “men”… and I can just see the weakness and lethargy in them. I used to be one of those “men”. I was scared of girls. Scared of standing up for myself. Scared of life.
Semen is literally the difference between men and women. Women don’t produce semen, we do. This seed can create another human life! And people don’t take it seriously. My hair is growing back thicker and fuller, I have to shave every other day now, my workouts are extremely intense.
This is no joke guys. Take it seriously. Take your essence seriously. Take semen retention seriously.
The benefits at this stage are out of control but recently I’ve been having what I can call a MINDPUMP.
And it has to be capitalized, because when this hits you…that’s all it can be described as. It’s like when you charge a phone with an external battery pack, then you plug that thing into a damn socket. It’s crazy man. You feel like your brain is just lighting up with all of the neurochemicals.
I just feel so hyped and positive all the damn time. I just recently got back home from college and met up with some high school buds and they were surprised at the new me. They were surprised how hyped and pumped I was getting. They always knew me as someone who was quiet and reserved. At the movies, I was pumped. At the gas station, I was pumped. At the restaurant, I was pumped.
It’s just so crazy because I feel elevated and full of energy all the time. I’ve felt this way for the past 2 to 3 weeks.
Everyone’s just gravitating around me because I’m casting off this insane energy field and insane vibes. I was cracking jokes, I was giving off the hype. A girl I met the other day called me extremely charismatic. And I am charismatic because my true personality was covered by a black cloud PMO, fear, and anxiety.
And I know this is NoFAP because I didn’t change anything else but I get the MINDPUMP effect.
Keep going on your journey, keep growing, keep getting stronger, keep growing stronger. My MINDPUMP will only grow stronger as the days’ pass and summer starts to roll around!
So good to be rebooted!