So when/how i became an addict ? I dont really remember who or what gave me the idea to search for P. But i remember that stuff was everywhere, tv, school, friends, billboards etc.. and of course curiosity kicked in and i had to search for it. The first time i ever saw P was at the age of 8 and started Mo’ing at the age of 9. I was doing it multiple times a day for over 11 years.
I became extremely shy, stressed, weak, no confidence at all, PMO pretty much ruined my entire childhood/ teenage life. I didnt do well in school, barely had any friends, Never had a girlfriend or barely even spoke to a girl. The addiction got worse when i got my hands on a credit card and some money i began spending it on PMO related things, not gonna go into detail but i have probably spent hunders of pounds on things that i absolutely did not need and that did me more harm than good, and i developed some fetishes along the way.
When/How did i realise i was addicted ? Its a very long story but I’ll make it short. So i never professed any religion, i just knew that god existed because thats what i was taught in school and by my parents. At the age of 18 i joined the LDS church and thats where i came to know about the law of chastity so basically no sex before marriage and no PMO at all. I was shocked, angry, confused because i knew that i couldn’t give it up or even discuss it with anyone. But since i decided to be part of the chruch i wanted to do my best in keeping the commandments and become the best version of myself.
I tried to quit, though i was still in denial. I was strongly prompted to confess this to my bishop and few weeks later to my parents. They were and still are very supportive about it and iam eternally grateful for that but unfortunately i wasnt successful at giving it up. Definitely took some weight off my shoulders but i was still stuck. I think my best streak was like 2 or 3 days max. The problem was that i didnt know anything about the side effects of PMO, it didn’t even cross my mind to look it up online, so for me it was normal and thats why i had so much trouble quitting.
So after struggling for months on the 17th of February i finally had the biggest desire to quit. Shortly after i recieved a revelation from God. It felt as if someone just whispered nofap into my ear. I was shocked but very intrigued so i quickly googled it and the first website i clicked on was nofap, of course I knew right away that this was the last and only chance i had at quitting, so without hesitation i signed up and began reading, i was filled with hope and joy. I thanked the Lord for showing me the way. When i finally knew what nofap was all about i told myself that i have to take this very seriously and so i did. With the Lords help and the wonderful people of this community i managed to stay clean from Day 1.
It definitely wasn’t easy, the first 3 weeks were pretty much hell. Ive spent 2 weeks just reading peoples stories, educating myself, fighting urges, going out a lot just to distract myself as much as possible, but sometimes i was just felt to fight the urges head on. Fortunately i was able to resist. I had to talk myself out of it many times, prayed a lot etc.
After a month or so everything calmed down and i was able to focus more on my goals. Then the covid 19 lockdown started so i was stuck at home with my parents. I started working out again, after 2 months i started the 30 day cold shower challenge which i successfully completed yesterday. Uninstalled all social media except youtube because i was getting tempted quite frequently, and honestly that was the best decision i have made in years. The lockdown was quite a blessing for me because i didn’t have any temptations around me so it was quite easy to abstain, only thing i had to deal with was fantasizing and staying away from the internet.
It finally felt like i was getting my life back. From day 60 to 70 everything was perfect i had 0 urges, 0 dirty thoughts, i was in heaven. From day 80 to 90 it all went downhill, had some urges, i felt down but i pushed through it. I mean its pretty hard to feel down when you have such an amazing community cheering you on everyday. So massive thanks to everyone.
Ok, some Nofap Benefits
– No more guilt and shame
– Clarity of mind
– Way more energy and confidence
– More facial hair
– Less sleep, easier to get up
– Less stress and anxiety
– More comfortable prayers
– Proud to be a Fapstronaut
Did i fully recover after 90 days ? Of course not, i still have a long journey ahead of me, its definitely a lot easier to live without PMO thats for sure. This 90 day reboot was just to get me started, my foundation if you like. I still struggle with urges sometimes, i have doubts but with all the experiences i had its quite hard to fall back.
Future plans on NoFap ? I will keep on going. Ill carry on with my daily journal, i will stay active as much as possible, i recieved tons of support from you guys so now its my turn to give it all back.
Well, thats all i have for you brothers and sisters. I probably didn’t mention everything so apologies if this was too short or it didn’t make sense at all, iam terrible at writing anything especially when its about me.
Its been an incredible journey one that i will never forget, ive had the privilege to get to know many amazing people, made ton of new friends. Iam truly grateful for each and every single one of you. God bless you all.
And If any of you reading have any questions please dont hesitate to ask.
By | Nico |