Age 19 – The long road back from transgender/hypno/escorts


I had access to a pc from the age of around 8. Didn’t use Pornography until the age of 10 which is when I also started masturbating. To my understanding this is quite a young age to be needing to masturbate however I do believe this was triggered by pornography. From then, I would frequently use porn and masturbation as it felt good and I knew no better at the time (millions of beautiful woman who would act ANY act I wished at the click of a button

without the need for much effort). I was a healthy young boy who liked playing sport and socialising and things, to my knowledge, things were going ok.

My tastes (in terms of porn) began to change pretty rapidly as I went from watching generic porn, to lesbian, to all the different types under the sun. This was due to my increasing need for more stimulation , as my old tastes did not satisfy me anymore.

This leads up to around when I was 15 years of age and began enjoying transgender videos and began fantasizing about them. Hypo videos were quite regular and also compliation videos. I was in a dark hole but did not realize it.

I then discovered nofap in late 2015 to early 2016. It was news to me that all this indulging, I had been participating in, could potentially be doing some pretty bad psychological damage to me. I then began my streaks and instantly started seeing changes in myself and also the way I viewed life. My sexual orientation began to switch back to females , and my confidence was increasing which led to more stable relationships with family and friends.

It was a rollercoaster as I went from streaks to relapses, to streaks to relapses until I finally reached 120 days in the summer of 2017. Unfortunately on the 120th day (after an exam) I decided to see two female escorts, payed 200 pounds, and was bitterly disappointed at the end of it, as it didn’t help me , it only left me craving more.

This led to a spiral of destruction as I saw multiple female escorts over the next 5 months. That same summer I also saw 2 transgender escorts and another on the 16 November 2017 (which was the start of my current streak).

This past 7 months has been a fight for my life to say the least. I have questioned my sexuality multiple times and also had thoughts that my life is not worth living. Which I believe is due to seeing the escorts.

Those thinking that escorts is the way to go, please let me tell you they are only interested in your money and will not satisfy your needs, which are companionship and a positive outlook on life.

I am currently on 241 days of nofap and to this day have not had a girlfriend (which has been on my mind lately due to not having released in 241 days). I’m currently on summer break from uni , and hope this will be a good semester.

The main thing nofap will do to you, is fight everyday to get you back to your old ways. It is not easy. Even this far in I am still under pressure to use porn and see escorts however I know ANY more failures will only set me back from the person I am destined to become. Being positive is good advice I can give, life at the moment seems boring and tedious, however those little moments of bliss that come around now and again, show me that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

I beg you to stop using this drug, and get on your way to the strongest version of yourself, feel free to message , and also ask any questions on things i may have missed out on. Peace and love.

I am well into my nofap “career” (2nd year). It has consisted of around 10 to 11 short and long streaks. My last streak was 4 months ,which ìs my second longest in comparison to my current streak of 241 days no porn or M/O, boring details out of the way.

[Benefits?]  Basically a sense of peace and joyfulness. Which comes naturally with realisation that your happiness should come mostly from within. It’s no doubt that females have  become more interested in me however this partly due to me noticing them more. Life has certainly become a lot more predictable and even quieter , which helps create a balance and  less anxiouness. Socialising is easier, convos are easier, laughing your head off becomes more frequent. However these are things that should happen anyway, but porn blocks them.

LINK – Day 241 hardmode report (19 years old)

By Ezmanwhitelake