Age 20 – Realize I want my GF more than novelty, got prestigious internship, singing professionally


I just wanted to give everyone a report on what I’ve done over these 90 days. (Spoiler: gaining super powers isn’t on the list. But I gained shit much more valuable than that). Needless to say I didn’t open my 3rd eye when I woke up this morning. But the 2 I did open are seeing much more than they did 3 months ago. A bit of background on me. I’ve been trying NoFap on and off for the last 4 years.

My furthest I’ve ever gotten before was 40 days, and that was 3 years ago. This streak was inspired by a breakup. My girlfriend of 3 years dumped me, understandably after I told her I had feelings for other girls. Not feelings I wanted to act on. I just knew they were there.

In the 3 months we spent apart I did a lot of shit. Including a 1 night stand with the first chick who agreed to sleep with me. No details needed, but the shit I felt after that and the certainty it made me feel about how much I loved my ex(the girlfriend I woke up to at the beginning of this post!) Let me know it was time for a change. For my own sake.

So. Here’s a list of all the shit I’ve done since January.

  1. Gotten back with my girlfriend. We’re stronger than ever. I still deal with the problems of being attracted to other women, but I know I don’t really want any of em. I just want their attention. She is so much more important to me than anyone else.
  2. Got accepted into the Disney College Program. The process was difficult. They only take about 8-10% of the 50,000+ applicants. This was my first time applying and got knows how but I made it in. I also got 5 of the coolest, chillest fucking roommates you can find.
  3. I’ve learn to cut out some toxic friends and not be at their beckon call. I’m not gonna suck my own dick, but I definitely have a good few friends who I put a fuck ton of effort into being good friends with, which I never really saw returned. Good friends are hard to find, but you shouldn’t settle for shitty ones just because they’re all ya got.
  4. I finally got the guts to start singing for people.

I spent over $500 on professional singing lessons when I decided I’d take my music fucking seriously at long last.

The lessons have increased my ability and confidence so much dude. I have almost 200 plays on one soundcloud track, which may not be much but it’s over half of what I had before total.

I even get frequent plays from one user, and my track has been played on some Soundcloud stations.

  1. I wrote and sang for 2 different bands. Both of which disbanded. But it was still a crazy and long overdue experience.
  2. It ain’t all positive. I’ve gained about 10 pounds in weight. I’m 6’1″ and 180 lbs so it still ain’t much, but it wasn’t the good kinda weight.
  3. I found out I’m already experiencing male pattern baldness at 20. I’ve been taking as much shit as I can to combat it, but my doctors being a dick about the prescription. It ain’t all good, but I’m getting better at dealing with it.
  4. I’ve had to reject the advances of about 5 girls in 2 months. As opposed to the 0 girls in every months before, I’d say something has changed about me.
  5. I haven’t drank soda in 3 months.

I dunno what else to say.

I felt like I sort of had to make a post to acknowledge this.

So I guess step 1 is done.

I’m gonna keep walking now, you guys do the same.

This post feels and may seem underwhelming. NoFap isn’t going to make you a better person, or a stronger person. It takes strength to do NoFap. NoFap is nothing Kore than a much needed exercise in maturity and self control.

Not cumming or watching porn won’t make you a great and confident guy. Defeating temptation and addiction though? That’s a step towards being a fuckin guy oo boy lemme tell ya.

Just try not to jerk off tonight. Maybe April 19th 2018 is your fucking day. Maybe you’ll come back and make an underwhelming post 90 days from now. I hope so.

Much love. See ya around, kid.

EDIT: Lemme just add this.

Let’s say you do it.

Let’s say you don’t got to some scummy sub tonight and jangle your private parts until it feels good.

And you don’t tomorrow, or the next day, or the next 88 days.

And you get to where I am and you find there really is no pot of gold. Women won’t just fall in love with you, you’ll still be depressed and still feel like shit.

Would it still be worth it? Would you rather support the porn industry and sexually desensitize both your mind and body, or not?

Do this just for the sake of doing it. Keep your expectations low but your hopes high.

No matter what you find when you get here, it’s worth it because at least you’re getting somewhere.

Fuck it, let’s make this post super long.

Check out this letter Kurt Vonnegut once wrote to a school.

November 5, 2006

Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:

I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.

What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.

Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.

Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?

Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash recepticals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.

God bless you all!

Kurt Vonnegut

———:::: okay now check this thing out from Yoko Ono ——–:::–:-:-:-:–

They hold the same philosophy. At my elementary school they always told us ” Character is what you do when no one is looking”.

You are your intentions, not your actions.

Okay that’s all I got. [I’m] 20. I have seen a lot of change these past few months but I wanna keep that ball rollin

LINK – Welp. Today’s my day.

By SometimeSomber