Growing up through out elementary school years I was a pretty normal kid. Had a good supporting family, some good friends and was living care free like any kid at that age should. About the time when elementary school ended and I went off to middle school is where I started to take a turn in general and discovered masturbation but it wasn’t a huge issue at the time. At this time I also started to gain some weight and become a bit chubby. As soon as middle school started my friends that I had basically turned on me. I became the target and slowly it kept getting worse and worse as my first year of 5th grade went on and started to get really depressed. For some reason I never decided to stick up for myself and would take the beating and kept hanging out with these people that used to be my friends. This carried on for most of my middle school years and I slowly started to become more detached from people and become very inclusive. So as middle school went on I started becoming more heavily involved in masturbation (At least once a day) and was spending almost all of my free time playing video games on the computer and gained a massive amount of weight to the point were I was morbidly obese (5’9 around 220lb by the end of middle school). So after that throughout the rest of middle school was basically the same getting bullied regularly and continued with my habits of video games, and masturbation. I became a very weak person and was contemplating suicide every now and then but never seriously acted on those thoughts.
Now when high school rolls around things got better in terms of the bullying most people just left me alone but again I continued with the same habits that I had developed in middle school but the masturbation became more frequent (2 times a day) was still extremely depressed and continued to gain even more weight. I had no direction all I cared about was coming home and escaping reality by shoving my face in front of that computer screen. By the end of high school I was around 260lb and my weight was a extremely serious issue but I just didn’t care. I also had a few new friends I hung out with so that aspect of my life improved a little bit. So finally around the end of my senior year I realized I started to have to take life more serious as I am going to be out of high school and have no direction at all with what I am going to be doing with my life.
Literally a few weeks before high school ended I ended up getting hooked up with a full time job doing maintenance at an apartment complex that I could started immediately after graduation. Keep in mind that it was my first job so it was really going to be a huge adjustment. Even after I started my job my habits outside of work stayed the same and got to around 300lb.
After around 6 months since I started my job the people I was hanging out with at the time introduced me to marijuana. This may be shocking to some of you but it was at this point where my life started to turn around. I started smoking a lot of pot but what it did for me was make me very introspective about my life. I became more adventuress and I was on a hike one day smoked a bowl and just had this epiphany that at this moment I decided I was going to lose all my weight. This ended up being the first domino to fall that caused the chain of events that DRASTICALLY changed my life and I now look at being 300lb a blessing in disguise. So I started to go on hikes everyday and started eating less and slowly cutting out the crap I was eating and as months went on the scale kept showing the work I was putting in 300lb, 290lb, 280lb, 270lb 260lb…… I had this momentum that just kept going. I eventually left the friends that I was hanging out with and really just started concentrating on myself. I went through some periods where I stalled for a while but started to increase my workouts and take my diet to the next level and started to hit the gym once I gained the confidence to keep making the progress. After around a 2 years of hard work I got down to around 210lb. I was still having the symptoms of masturbation though and was still wondering what was wrong with me. I had bad acne, crackly voice, weak minded, and had no spine all symptoms of low testosterone. I had no idea how the many years of porn and masturbation the damage it did to my brain, hormones, and overall mindset.
This is when I discovered nofap and started to dive deep into reading all the post and articles. I would read other peoples experiences and I related to all of there symptoms and issues. So I started nofap with a 2 week streak while I was on vacation and realized this is something I have to stick with and see what it will do to me over time. After only a few weeks of doing this I could see that the people that were in my life were noticing that there was something very different about me.
My eyes started to shine, skin started to glow and look naturally tanned, started walking with my chest up shoulders back and was full of this new found confidence. I had a pretty bad receding hairline that I was worried about but after a while my hair stopped falling out. My voice got deeper and my acne improved dramatically. People started to respect me and could sense I had this powerful energy in me.
Now I never thought I was really ugly but my weight in my face when I was heavy did not make me look attractive at all. Girls never really paid attention to me but I could tell that the magnetism that everyone was talking about was a real thing after about a month in. It honestly felt like everyone was staring at me and had this powerful aura that people could sense. After about 3-4 months in I could tell there was a massive increase in my testosterone and started to feel like a real man for the first time in my life and it was such a euphoric feeling.
During this time I eventually got down to my goal weight of 170lb and decided its time for my next phase and to build some serious muscle. I met a guy in the gym who has turned into a great friend and has been extremely helpful in my journey the past year of my life. I started working out with him doing the main compound movements (squat, bench, deadlift, overhead press, rows) and for each movement doing 3 heavy sets of 5 three days a week (The program is called Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe if interested). This mixed with semen retention I cant even describe the profound effects it has had for me when it comes to testosterone I feel like a true alpha male now.
About 6 months into semen retention and lifting making some great gains in size and strength is when I really started to notice huge changes in my facial features. I swear to god it was like my jaw shifted. My face looks way more attractive and masculine now and after I saw this change I knew how bad I was suppressing my testosterone for years since a young age. This change has also bled into my mindset big time. Now I just don’t give a fuck what people think of me. I just feel free and its extremely blissful honestly I have no clue how to describe it.
Now when it comes to women and attraction my life has taken a complete 180. Before when I was heavy and masturbating I was extremely repulsive and through out my entirety of school never had a relationship. Now I just attract high quality women without really having to do anything. Keep in mind with all these changes I made and the women I seem to attract I now think I am pretty attractive feature wise but I never really knew that till I lost the weight and discovered semen retention. Its just so weird now having these women seek me out now when until 2 years ago they never paid attention to me. Keep in mind I am single and have been for most of my life other than seriously talking to a few here and there the past year but im okay with that and learned I dont really need a girl to be happy which I think only helps with the attraction of women. Right now im in the mindset that I don’t need one and that im the prize to be won.
I feel like I will know when the right one comes along I will make my move then. Right now I feel like im on a great path and everything in my life seems to be piecing itself together and eventually a girl will be part of that. Don’t let women be your main goal in life you will come off as needy and they find that repulsive. Once you figure out your goals and who you want to be the right one will show up into your life.
So right now in my life I have never been happier. I have a good friend group and new job that my friend I met in the gym that I spoke about got me into the company that he is in where I will be making plenty of money in a few years. I have been hitting the gym now for a little over a year consistently and haven’t stopped since I started and the work is really starting to show.
I went from a 300lb lazy kid with no direction or confidence to jacked 190lb (Plan on doing a cut in march after spending this winter bulking) 21 year old full of confidence and the great benefits of semen retention. I have purpose now and I feel like I am on a path to greatness. I can’t thank this community enough for the information and support it has given me to really change my life around I honestly could cry right now.
Thanks for reading like I said I suck at writing so this is probably all over the place and I know im missing so much information so if you have any questions just ask and I will try to go into detail as much as I can.