Hey guys! It’s time… (if you feel that some of the things from my statement may trigger you don’t read it now)
I’ve been here for almost 90 days. I thought that I will wait for that exact number but nahh. The feeling of freedom is surrendering me. I have to close that gate.
It’s way of saying good bye for me and the last step of being fully free. Recently, I’m becoming addicted to this site Why I’m leaving? The NOFAP is only thing that reminds me about fapping.
I decided that I will sum up all my way to give some of you a little inspiration and dispose of all my blame.
My journey with that problem started sth around 5-6 years ago. Firstly, I was doing that with my minds. The next step was pictures and then porn. I was playing and training football to become pro so I lived with only boys for two years. Everyone around me was doing fapping and saying that’ s completely normal… I was like “ohhh okay, I have to do what my organism is asking me for”. So, I was fapping day after day. I became so addicted that I could do it 3 times a day. During that time I had breaks and I wanted to fight it but it was still stronger than me. The only longer moments that I remember was time when I had a girlfriends and was really, really busy.
Dopamine that you receive from fapping is so strong but you have to fight it with your mind. It’s like drugs addiction that will come back again and again. I realized that fact when I was 20.
Since, my teens I had acne that got worse and worse year after year. It was connected to fapping I’m 100% sure. When I was 19 it came to me that I had to do sth to be pretty boy so the dermatologist prescribed me accutane. It messed my mind and I was soo exhausted. I decided to stop fapping to have more energy. My face cleared up and I stopped taking accutane. Two months after no fapping I came back to this addiction and I’ve got like one, two pimples. It wasn’t bad so I didn’t connect facts. That was time of summer, I was working really hard. I was busy. I fapped once a week. My face looked good. Then came time of coming back to university, so I had more time just for me. You know what happened. I masturbated average 7 times a week. My face was full of red spots. I had pretty bad breakouts. I was depressed. I avoided my friends. It was really bad time. So bad that I started to use BB creams to mask my red face. It was just doing more harm. Then, I realized that there has to be reason for that shit.
At some articles I read about cleaning diets. I chose the most difficult. 7 days with only water. I did it and saw a little improvement but it wasn’t that. I was searching more and more. At some point my desperation was so strong that I only read articles about acne. I was meeting many opinions about correlation: acne with masturbation. For me, there always were excuses. It was like unbelievable but I thought it’s worth a try. First week was awfull. My face was red as carpet on the Oscars and gave up. I fapped. Then I read somewhere that face going worse might happen at first week. Gave it another try. Next time I resisted probably 21 days… I’m not sure. It was two days after Christmas Eve. My face started again to breakout. I masturbated for next few days. 2019 and New Year resolution. I lasted for 3 days…
I was looking for some help and saw that page of nofap.com in someone post. My mind was like “ok, I will give it a try” maybe socializing will help me. I set up my goal for one year challenge. It’ s where I met this wonderfull guys that was fighting for the same reasons. This little competition that I had with @YoungPiccolo gave me boost of mobilization. Day after day I was breaking the consecutive highscores. It couldn’t happen without a few tips that I learned:
1) set yourself a way out from the urge situation, for me it was that scene from punisher:
I don’t watch it. I just recollect Billy Russo saying “pathetic” and I’m saying to myself that I don’t want to be that pathetic shit.
2) for the beginning you may need to block porn sites but I quit it after two weeks. Your change can’t be force you need to feel it. You can’t avoid sex theme in this world. Change your mind.
3) Set yourself a goals. A few smaller steps lead to a success.
4) Look for alternatives: something that gives you fun.
Find benefits and realize that it also is connected with you: here are some benefits – https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/benefits-of-nofapreasons.58297/#post-432769
I noticed that with no fapping:
– my face has cleared up, I just have to remove acne scars,
– I’m less proscinating and I have more energy. I’m more productive
– my social life has improved,
– I feel less guilty,
To sum up: I think that I’m never coming back to PMO. If I knew all about that 6 years back I would never start that shit. My life could be a lot different, but slowly I’m closing all bad gates. I have to look forward, so do you! I hope that some of you guys might be inspired by that story. I think that some of you will find here solution for your acne! I know that there are different problems but for sure giving up PMO won’t damage anything in your life. Feel free to contact me. I’m leaving this site but I will sometimes come back here to answer your questions.
LINK – Almost 90 days and acne