9 Weeks Report – ‘Date’ with a Girl
As this is a very long post, most of you want to see the benefits my date results with a girl, which are in the Now and Date Results section.
21M studying Computer Science in a University, Bachelor Degree. I spent the first two university years involved in robotics projects. I was ahead from my peers at the time, but I kind of neglected my studies, since I used to believe that studies are meant to be done outside classes. I didn’t know the consequences of mixing game addiction and PMO every day into my lifestyle, which dragged down my GPA and internships opportunities. Soon my friends were ahead of me, and last summer 2018 was one of my lowest points in my life. I was burnt out from internship, had a mental breakdown, and lost my beloved one in family. I cried really hard alone at one point in my room. It seemed that no matter how hard I try to focus on studies or on my internship, I was always average compared to society’s expectations, even though I knew I could do far better.
I did NoFap by accident during this period for around 3 months. I did meditation every morning while on holiday, and tried to date a girl whom I have known for 2 years, but she kept avoiding me. Eventually, college pressure started piling up again and I relapsed after around 3 months. And no, I did not know NoFap at the time, so I had no focus or particular mindset, and I was still focusing on girls, which led me to relapse easily. I discovered NoFap early this year after I successfully stopped my gaming addiction (full post in this link). Now I’m at day 63 and already experienced the motivation and drive to do things again. So I’ll list the Progress and Benefits
0 – 2 weeks
By far the hardest weeks in terms of controlling urges. Since I was holiday and there were not many activities to do, I easily got bored and it was hard to prevent PMO. Fantasies were as clear before I started NoFap. I remembered one time that my crotch felt really hot, and I almost could not hold it any further. I opened up my NoFap commitment to my parents, and surprisingly they supported my decision and become my accountability partners. Huge increase in testosterone, drive, and energy to interact with the family.
2 – 4 weeks
Urges started to calm down, but they’re still there. I continued my working out schedule from day one, and this period is where I frequently experienced irritations and frustrations towards little things in life. Usually I transfer my anger and insecurities into working out, which helped me to calm down during my energy peaks. And during this period, many people started glancing at me. This may be a placebo, but worth keeping them in mind for future weeks. I also met my old friend, to which we had a great time hanging out and my laughter was really genuine.
4 – 6 weeks
Started my new college semester at 4 weeks of NoFap. I didn’t really get the said benefits from most people as I had little interaction with people during my holiday. I also opened up my commitment about NoFap to my friends, with mixed responses. Some said it was bullshit, and some were surprised at how I even could hold NoFap for more than 1 month. I could feel people respecting me more through interactions.
I also met this same girl whom I am having crush on while going for church with other friends. I tried to keep it cool, but she often gravitated towards me and tried to initiate conversation most of the time. Most friends were also interested in talking with me.
At around 6 weeks, I talked to a girl three years younger than me. Even though I met her for the first time, we spent a lot of time talking about college life and high school memories. We had one of the most genuine and loudest laughters for around 3 hours.
On the other hand, my studies are far better and I can focus more on the subjects. I can recall most of the topics a few weeks after. I also do all of the assignments with full effort.
6 – 7.5 weeks
I had the wet dream the day after the 3 hour talk with girl. Experienced the brain fog and decrease in drive. Insecurities are coming back again but I am still able to manage my confidence. Need around two days to fully recover from withdrawal. During this time, I also made a stupid decision of drinking alcohol with friends. I felt dizzy the next day and needed a few days to reach my peak energy and motivation again. By this time, my workout results are at the highest. During this time, I started to focus my attention to real life things instead of preventing relapses. NoFap gives you the energy to be converted into real productivity.
8 – 9 weeks
During this time, I talked to one of my friends who made me uncomfortable most of the times through his extroversion. I was surprised he was receptive of my suggestion, and he does not have any hidden intention or harm towards me. I am also more assertive to discussions and tried to defend my arguments more.
I attended to a Career Fair with some of my friends yesterday, and we managed to apply to some several jobs. We even had some genuine conversations with some of the representatives.
Now – Benefits
I am doing 6 courses (4 of which are project-based) and 1 research project with a professor. So far I am able to juggle all the workload while having recreational time and workout with my friends.
Applied to 15-20 jobs or research opportunities for this summer. There will be another career fair at my campus next week, and I am looking forward to applying around 30+ jobs.
More energy, drive and motivation. I only need 7-8 hours of sleep everyday. I also never skip classes except for optional ones.
Not sweating over small things. Before NoFap I was mentally unhealthy and was personally offended. Now I either brush it off, stand up and speak out my thoughts, or just laugh over it.
People are more receptive and positive towards our interaction. Before NoFap, I usually get scolded by strangers for doing stupid things in public.
The part you guys are probably looking forward to the most. I wouldn’t say this is a normal date as you guys might be expecting (with hugs and kisses), since we are both from the same country with a more conservative culture.
Happened today when my crush and I were going to church. We first talked via chat to meet at the church directly by trains. Since I was one train behind her, we decided to meet at one station and walked together to the church. We talked a lot about college courses, her dreams and future plans in pursuing Masters, her sister who also studied in different university. The conversation felt really genuine and she was really interested in knowing my recent activities.
After the church mass, I was planning to buy some whey protein and asked her if she wanted to join me, since she stated that she was busy preparing for midterms. To my surprise, she agreed to join me to the protein store and go back together by trains to our dorms. The conversations flowed naturally and effortlessly. We even giggled and shared laughters and jokes. During our way back, most passengers in the train left at one of the stops. The girl went on to find two empty seats and offered me to sit with her. We talked more and she expressed her experience last year with some of our common friends. I personally just found the moment she expressed her emotions and experience to be cute and heart-warming. I don’t have any plans to be in relationship with her, as I don’t want the breakup later on, and in turn, making her an emotional mess because of me. I have never been in any relationship before, so I’d like some advice from you guys :). Currently I’m just planning to be a really close friend with her and just make her life happier.
This may be stated a lot of times, but NoFap works. No, it is not the silver bullet that will solve every problem you will face in the future. It gives you the motivation and energy to actually accomplish things in life. NoFap works with the mindset of actually transmuting the energy on a conscious level towards productive and positive things in life. Yes, there will be ups and downs, but never, ever, give in to instant gratification. By forcing yourself to keep the streak, you are teaching yourself self-discipline and responsibility. Knowing that chances will come and go is one of the most important things to remember when we are faced with fear.
Right now, I am planning a birthday surprise for my crush this May. I will update the progress after that, so it will be two months from now.
LINK – https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/azifpu/9_weeks_report_date_with_a_girl/