As you can see today i’ve reached a mark of 48 days Hard Mode.
To give a history of pmo, ive been seeing porn from my grade 4 ,i would’ve been like 12 or 13 that time, and i started m.o. from the age 14 ,since then their was no stopping.
The frequency of pmo kept increasing,increasing it’s grasp over our stupid ignorant brains,
i used to feel guilty in the earlier years after m.o. but in the last two years that feeling too got vanished.
Its really important to realize that porn numbs our feeling of thing coz the dopamine rush which we get after pmo is so amusing that all other feelings which are considerably less in dopamine levels don’t get much entertained by our brains.
I was on the point where i would literally wait to get home and do pmo,the real world felt like a burden ,everything was easy in porn,you’re the controller ,you decide things that should happen,etc
All this caused really stupid things,bad things in my brain liked gender confusion,incest and what not,
I really hate my earlier self lookin back at the things i thought and watched.
However going on this path on nofap has been a bit easy due to the lockdown,else i would’ve been in my apartment doing the same shitty stuff, now i’m with my parents ,so that helps (if you want it to), plus i keep busy with them talking with them helping them and such things,so i feel a lot connected to them and real world.
Now talkin of the benefits/changes i see in myself:
1)I’ve began seeing a lot of dreams of all sorts,like every time i sleep or take a small nap,i have a dream of all sorts.
2)i’ve had 3 nightfalls up till now, my way of dealing with them is get up change your pants,get back to sleep, we all know how good it feels to sleep after m.o.
3)I woul’d’nt say i’m not having sexual thoughts, i do have a lot of them and i try to embrace them, i don’t know whether it’s a good thing or not,anyways.
4)Sleeps are more deep, and you wake up energetic no matter if you slept for a less number of hours.
5)Thinking of porn now creates a disgusting feeling in my mind, idk why but that helps me
6)i have a really sweet girlfriend, so now i’m not all the time texting her, earlier i just used to eventually get around sexting, we do talk of memes or sexual things but know i take them very surface-ly or you can say humorously.
7)The most important benefit which I think is whenever some shit happens, i don’t try to ease that with porn, i have to face it, get a scolding then feel bad but not masturbate,and that is really important because if you p.m.o then,you’ll never realize your mistake,you’ll just learn to live with it.
Face everything you do, dont hide back behind anything or anyone.
In the end i did’nt knew this would get so long,sorry for that.
Anyways everyone’s journey is different so don’t compare like why i’m not feeling this as the other guy is feeling, Stay Strong, Give it some time.
Lastly the thing that always helped me during this short time of 48 days was
I thought even if this nofap thing brings no benefit to me, i’ll still emerge as a person with much greater willpower and discipline, i’ll know i’m in control of my brain and hell yeah i’m not a slave to any addiction.