I feel better than I have in a very long time and my relationship is actually starting to mend and we are closer than ever to having a normal happy trusting relationship again. I’d love to be a resource to anyone that needs an ac partner or just needs some perspective. Stay strong everyone, trust me if I can do it so can you.
The benefits are numerous. Honestly it’s made every aspect of my life better in ways that I never possibly expected. It’s crazy the toll something like porn addiction takes on your brain that you never even know. The biggest benefit tho is being able to have a genuine physical connection to my wife and sex is no longer just something we do. And I no longer feel the need to look at other women in public or have fantasies not oriented around my wife. So it has done leaps and bounds for my relationship.
I feel much more mentally clear as well and have been able to be much more productive and creative in every aspect of my life because my mental capacity isn’t constantly hindered by a voice in the back of my head telling me to watch porn or the mental battle.
[My wife] ended up finding out on her own, and every time there after that I would relapse I wouldn’t tell her for the same reasons. Therefore neither she nor I knew the true depth of my addiction. She saw it as nothing more than that she wasn’t good enough for me and that I continued to go behind her back and lie to her.
Obviously anyone who is struggling with this that has a SO knows that it is nothing like that and your porn addiction has nothing to do with lack of satisfaction from your SO. But it’s also completely understandable why she would feel that way. It was not until I told her EVERYTHING (for me my skeletons consisted of a lot more then just porn) that I finally was able to turn the corner and start to see my problem as an addiction and get better.
There are so many reasons to tell her but let me high level it for you cause this response is already way longer than I intended and I don’t want to take up to much of your time. 1. No mater how she reacts it will be so much easier to get better without this weight on your chest. 2. The longer you wait to tell her the more it is going to hurt her. She will not care about how long it has been since you have or what your streak is which leads me to my next point 3. If YOU go to HER rather than her finding out on her own she is much more likely to see that you are really struggling and that it really is an addiction and want to help you.
It comes down to this man, and please believe me on this, if you love her you will tell her and every minute that you are not telling her you are doing her wrong because you’re not doing everything you can do get better for her and every minute you waste finding a reason not to is time you can never get back.
Honestly the first couple of days have usually been some of the easier ones for me. I’d say like week two is difficult and then like a month in it would kinda hit me out of nowhere. Maybe cause it thought I could get away with it. Maybe cause it had been long enough the pain of relapsing was distant enough that I thought it wouldn’t be that bad. Other than that it was off and on and never a specific time frame.
LINK – Just passed the 6 month mark