I’ll be hitting 50 days of hard mode tomorrow and it is the first time I got this far since I’ve started with noFap last spring. I wanted to make the moment more memorable and I’ve noticed that many recovery groups for other addictions use some system of sobriety chips or badges.
I think it’s a shame there is nothing like that in noFap because having a physical token representing your time clean could have a great psychological effect. It would always remind you of what you have achieved and that you would lose it if you gave up. I believe that when the urges hit (and they have been getting stronger lately in my case), it will provide me with much more support than just a number on a screen or a virtual challenge badge.
The question is, of course, what should the token be. Since I don’t want to use anything weird or really specific (like a coin saying NO PMO FOR 50 DAYS ), I’ve decided to go with an eagle pendant, just like this one:
I’ve used to wear a similar one a few years ago but I stopped because I wasn’t confident enough to be comfortable with it. I am an introverted guy and I felt it was too much of “showing off” for me. But now, after almost 50 days of reboot, I am more than ready to start wearing it. It actually looks good, I can have it on me always and no one will know how much it symbolizes for me. The eagle also gives off the vibe of getting free, powerful, and independent.
I would like to say that I understand that the number of days isn’t everything and it is about getting to the point where there is no need for counting anymore. But in this phase, the struggle is still too real and the physical representation of everything we are fighting for will be a great confidence and willpower boost.
What do you think about this? Have any of you used something similar during your reboot?
LINK – 50 Days Streak Chip
I’ve relapsed after about a 130 day streak a few weeks ago, and I think this is a great time to compare the benefits at the end of a 4-month streak versus what I experience now.
The benefits and changes have arrived slowly and gradually for me, so “hitting the bottom” suddenly has helped me appreciate them better.
Warning – this will be a long post, so go get a coffee and sit back
I should also note that in this post, I am talking about the benefits of the whole NoFap lifestyle, not about stuff that just happens because you don’t jerk off. Most of the effects are mostly results of other lifestyle changes like working out, socializing, eating healthier, exercising, and learning new stuff. One positive thing makes you feel better and gives you the confidence and energy to start the next one, but it still all started with NoFap and its first confidence boost.
I would divide the benefits into two categories:
– The shorter-term ones, that suffered greatly with the relapse but also didn’t take so long to appear.
– The long-term benefits I still experience, which are however usually more bound to lifestyle.
Let’s start with the “temporary” group:
1. Boosted immune system – I’ve been running during the winter when it was freezing, I’ve been meeting sick people, I’ve had covid and none of it made me really sick, I’ve been feeling great and healthy. This was especially cool for me since I’ve used to be a sickly child, always sneezing. After the relapse, I had got a sore throat for a few days and I have had a runny nose since then. It’s getting better though.
2. Better skin – It started looking much better after some time. I could notice more acne after the relapse.
3. Voice – I am learning to sing and my voice got gradually deeper and nicer. I could hear it jump higher after the relapse, my singing would get much worse (perhaps more due to losing confidence than something physiological).
4. Brain Fog – It has been overall easier to concentrate, focus on a task for a longer time. In the days after relapsing, I’d procrastinate for hours, although I feel quite sharp again by now.
5. More Energy – To go out with friends, help out family when they need something, or to work out. I’ve obviously had some flatlines and times when you just don’t feel like doing anything over the reboot, so I didn’t really appreciate this until after relapsing. I have felt more tired afterward, annoyed to do anything, and weak during the sport, just like before noFap. I’ve had to use all my discipline to get back on track, fortunately being active gives you the energy back.
6. Attracted to Women – Before the reboot, I haven’t really noticed normal girls, I didn’t have the guts or motivation to go and talk to any. Why would I, if there are supermodels on the screen waiting for me? After a month or so, I would finally appreciate just how beautiful is a normal girl on the bus or one jogging in the park.
This would be one of the biggest changes in the week after relapse, I didn’t feel much toward girls again, I’d just think about the boobs I’ve seen on the screen. Terrible feeling, I can’t believe how easy it was to forget about it during the reboot. This was definitely one of my favorite benefits.
Now for the “long-lasting” group:
7. Social Anxiety – It went down soo much, I’m also more excited about any social activities. I used to be the guy who wouldn’t go out with friends because he has “other plans” (to sit home and fap), now I invite people to hang out. I still feel this way, although it took some effort to deal with the hit my confidence took with the relapse.
8. More Masculinity – Getting more facial and chest hair and more muscle. Obviously more linked to working out and eating better, but I wouldn’t have started with that without NoFap… This is long-term stuff, even if a relapse influenced it, I wouldn’t have noticed yet.
9. Female Attraction – What you’ve been all waiting for I honestly didn’t believe this could work, but I’ve seen some really cool stuff, from noticing that female friends are attracted to me to girls smiling at me in the public out of the blue. The stories of girls approaching me at parties would deserve a separate post.
Guys, females can sense if you feel like a winner living with a purpose and they like it.
I’m not sure if this one belongs to the first category or the second, I haven’t had the time to find out. I’ve definitely lost some confidence after the relapse, but I know I am still a better person than before NoFap and the relapse can’t undo a few months of a healthy lifestyle.
10. Enjoying the little things – Just feeling euphoric about seeing a lovely bird in a forest, enjoying a delicious meal with others or really feeling the emotion in a song. Great stuff that happens when you don’t fry your dopamine receptors 24/7.
11. Knowing yourself – The best for the last. I can’t stress enough how great it was to decide and say things like “What I want in my life…” or “What kind of person do I want to be…” Just knowing that you can change for the better while accepting things about you that you are happy with and proud of. That is the best part of this journey and I have certainly only seen a tiny part of the long path of discovery ahead.
There you go! Those were most of the changes and benefits I have experienced over the reboot and I am more than excited to go and get all of them back. This post actually represents the bright side of a relapse – it lets you appreciate what the reboot gave you and reminds you how terrible things were before. My reboot is, of course, far from being over, and I am going to stick to the resolution for much longer this time.
Stay strong guys and all the best!