Age 22 – 180 days and my thoughts

Hi everyone,
This is the first time I’m posting here even though I’ve been visiting now and then.

Background about me (before nofap):
-Discover porn at ~11-12
-Started viewing erotic pictures at the age of 14 and soon turning into videos
-Been doing one fap a day or every another day
-Average porn watching session is above 1 hour (I know)
-Genre of them have been shifting to the more hardcore ones throughout years
-After highschool, I was doing 2-3 faps a day with each session lasting at least 45 minutes and only did once a day if fatigue hit
-Gets a hard on easily, anyplace and anywhr
-Can get really horny when girls sit near me and stuff (was uneasy to act normal)
-Started feeling problem with a long erection unless a hardcore was being viewed
-Normal porn just aint doing anything for me
-No confidence talking to girls, strangers and was just socially anxious and awkward.
-Was often complimented by girls for being cute and stuff but I was pussy so
-Never had any physical contacts with girls

At 21,
– Discovered Nofap a little over one year ago.
– Tried it just to see if it works and to get my long lasting erection back
– Started with reducing the frequency to one fap a week by watching non-sexual but tantalizing videos (kissing random girls etc)
– This really WORKED. My erection was good even the video showed no skin and was just normal kissing
– Didn’t really feel any boost in confidence but its a lot better than what I used to be
– After this, had no idea how but I somehow started abstaining from wanking at all
– Wasn’t keeping count but have been doing nofap for 2 weeks+ then relapsed then again for quite a few months.
– Figured I could go longer and really commit to it.
– Started with one month journey and then relapsed.
– Felt really good in that one month. Confidence and all you name it.
– Talking to girls is no longer a problem at ALL
– Decided to start a real journey
– After about one month, made out for the first time with this girl who my friend brought to the bar and surely soon enough I turned it into a FWB relationship (Just FYI I’ve every even touched a girl’s hand before this and let alone kissing)
– Had no problem achieving what I wanted to and expressing myself
– Because of the FWB relationship, easily achieved nofap for 3 months (summer break)
– At the same time, hung out with my highschool crush (that I really liked) and I told her I liked her without problem and she said she actually liked me a lot too but she’s flying back to another country for school so thats it.
– After school starts, I got back into my life and FWB relationship cut off (long distance)
– Went back to casual porn and masturbation now and then
– Was still confident and all
– Fell in love with a coursemate of mine and stopped wanking without me even realizing it.
– Have been abstaining for like 160 days during the pursue of the girl
– During this period, I was NOT HONRY at all time, truly loved the girl and all I thought about was having a future with her. Never was I once fantasize about anything with her.
– After months of pursue, got rejected horribly but I confessed and all without problem (was proud of myself for all that courage)
– After the rejection, went back to fapping vigorously
– First fap session was easily a binge which lasted a few hours and had 3 orgasms.
– Been losing confidence and all, became socially awkward, couldn’t hold a convo with anyone especially girls, heart pumping and all you name it but couldn’t help it so
– Tried to get back to nofap but always succumbed to it every 3 days ~ a week
– Couldn’t bare the weak me
– Determined and decided to really nofap
– The first month, the whole month, was HELL
– It was the worst I’ve ever been, no confidence, tired ALL THE TIME no matter how much I slept, avoiding girls I like and stuff (I know)
– Worst experience I ever had and my self-esteem was really fucked
– Was doubting nofap and all but recalled what I achieved last time so I struggled through
– After the 1 month mark, I didnt instantly gained all I lost back but it gradually came back (over a long course)
– I reckoned I had my confidence and all back only after like 4-5 months of nofap
– It was getting better all the time but it just wasnt there (cause I knew what I could have become)
– Now at 180 days, I’m just at the best form, period.
– I’m talking to girls without problem unless I’m really lack of sleep or I had one (or more) wet dreams the night before.
– Yes I got twice wet dreams in one night at approximately ~160 days mark
– Been having wet dreams like once every week now
– Will feel a bit loss of the super power after WD but it’s not gonna be a real problem and it goes away fast enough

That’s it.
That’s my journey and I’m not gonna give up whatsoever now since I know I’ll be really really fucked if I relapse again.
It was a really really hard journey to get back into it.
I’ve done 180 days and so can you.
I’ll prolly post again when I hit 365.

LINK – 180 days and thoughts

by beous