Age 22 – From bleak to hope and light; my true identity is being revealed

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I made it to 172 days! Honestly I’d have to admit that I’ve been browsing up, and down for years. Out of curiosity, and I just reeled up the courage within to join, and make an account. I have to say that I’m proud to be a part of the rebooting community.

The benefits are too much to list. Social anxiety is depleting. As I can socialize more easily. I have more time to do things that I want to do. I just started learning the piano yesterday. Since I’ve been playing the guitar seriously for years; on, and off as a studio musician. Or just jamming in general with locals. So it makes it easier to sit down, and conversate; and network. Even though at times the anxiety randomly hits me, and the social awkwardness attempts to consume me. I can still see that I’m recovering.

The depression I had; is starting to fade in, and out. Since I’m still having withdrawal symptoms, but it’s a long term recovery process; that doesn’t happen over night. Since I’ve been watching a plethora of porngraphy since the age of 11. I also have more time to spend with family, and friends if I want. Having a girlfriend seems like a possibility. I’m not saying this from a perspective like im bad with women. Porngraphy ruined a lot of my relationships or potential dating opportunities.

I still have no regrets in this area. Since I’ve spent the better portion of my time building up talent, and skill. Instead of chasing after females brainlessly. Yet it is enticing to know that to have a girlfriend is a possibility; but it’s not a necessity for me. Overall my perception of life is changing drastically. Levels of frustration are dropping; my anger is lowering.

Intrusive thoughts are starting to become less frequent. I could go on, and on; but it would literally be too much to list. Life is just starting to feel like life again. Instead of a boring slow drag of rushing towards death. I’m getting pleasure from the mundane things; that I used to hate doing. Like getting up in the mornings to cook breakfast or eat. I can sit down, and watch a full movie without being distracted easily.

Let’s just say that your true identity is being revealed during this whole; process of rebooting. Your life purpose is starting to come back. The veils that have been wrapped around your eyes are coming off; and you’re starting to see life for what it truly is. It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey in front of you. Yes there are stil up, and downs within the whole recovery process, but the longer you go the easier it gets. What was bleak, and filled with darkness; is now transitioning to light, and hope. A lot of people look for instant gratification, but there’s so much pleasure in the process of grinding, and aspiring.

What is the point of just getting there? It seems like everyone is chasing after death instead of life. Now we’re heading into the true direction of life; not pointless nothingness.

I didn’t really have a lot of symptoms, but I noticed I would always feel crappy after I fapped. That crappy feeling starting lasting longer and longer till it was taking me a couple of days to get back to normal. I then saw the video “The Porn  Experiment” from the Your Brain on Porn Guy. That was a light bulb moment!

I thought back to times when I had instinctively done NoFap, and always felt better. I always quit though when I got to a Flatline, since I didn’t know what that was, and I got spooked.

Now, with the help of this NoFap community, I’ve ridden through the flatlines. They have been bad at times, but the benefits soo outweigh the costs.

I’ve felt much better and relaxed IRL. Socializing and being around people has been better. Also, I’ve felt happier. I didn’t know I wasn’t as happy as I could have been. I thought it was just how normal was. Not anymore. This is the new normal.

I’m not saying it’s easy though. You have to ride the waves, and go
through the lows to feel the highs. The longer the streak lasts, the
less volatile the ups and downs are. I’ll write more once I hit 90.

Everyday I wake up to go on social media websites. I can see the immense influence that porngraphy has on working minds! It’s funny how a lot of guys are slaves to their sexual desires; and can’t even grasp this reality! I was just on WSHH a minute ago, and they had a video where this chick was; showing off her ass cheeks. Of course I didn’t click on the video, but I browsed through the comment section, and saw a lot of guys. Talking about how juicy her ass was. Also talking about how they “busted a fat nut to it”.

I’ve always knew the importance of self discipline, and commitment. As I’ve applied it to other areas of my life viciously, but I never knew the importance of sexual discipline! I have a lot of patience; as I’ve just now reached 172 days.

I can feel the progress, and changes being placed in my brain. Or how my perception on life, and women are changing. It’s nice to go out in public, and not having to focus on a women’s body.

A lot of guys pressure themselves to have sex. As they use it as a form of “validation” upon themselves. They think that they’re worthless if they can’t engage in sexual activities with a female. So they continually chase after them. Wasting time, and going no where. Instead of building up valuable skills; such as talent or impeccable amounts of knowledge or wisdom.

I’d just like everyone here to know. That they are on the path of prosperity; by implementing, and practicing sexual discipline. Having patience, and discipline is such a fantastic thing to have. As it provides gratitude, and obscene amounts of deph, and comprehension. Natural appreciate for life; and understanding that the majority of life is experienced from internal matters. Not immaterial extremities. Such as money or physical sensualities.

I feel as if I’m reverting back to my true self; of how I was as a kid. Of course I’m not fully healed. As this restoration process is going to take years. I know from sheer experience. Since I’ve had my battles with other addictions in my past. One being a video game addiction when I was a preteen. The other being a nictotine addiction I beat 3 years ago.

We truly are on the road to freedom. I’d just like you to know that a lot of people will think it’s weird that you’re practicing sexual discipline in your life. Especially if you’re young. Since I am 22 years old, and there’s a lot of guys; that are extremely impressionable. As they allow the flesh to rule over them, and control them. Being it’s slaves, but we’re on to better things.

Keep the faith people! Stay resilient! Stay courageous, and firm! Not a lot of people are disciplined or self controlled. But the ones that are go on to do great things. As they are not so caught up on distractions, and or petty things. Here’s to beating the flesh! Here’s to having our minds submit to our doings! Here’s to prosperity, and grace!

Let us focus on the present moment, and rejoice in its phenomenal rewards! Don’t just say it, but implement what you’ve learned from here into the confines of your life. I know a lot of guys on here are just pseudo motivational speakers; but actually commit to it, and do it!

It’s better to suffer now; than having to fend off this addiction; in a later part of your life. I commend you if you’re serious about this. Peace, and blessings be upon you!

LINK – I made it to 172 days!

By Crestfallenhate


UPDATE

Jesus Christ I can’t believe this shit. I’ve been going at this for the past 6 months, and overtime I can really feel the changes. You’re not being changed into a new person. You’re reverting back to the old you, but even better! As human beings we truly were made whole, and complete. Yet doing this will lead to being more refined while also being filled with more energy, and drive! This is the greatest I just feel so alive man.

All the suffering was worth it dudes! My life is filled with so much activity, and abundance. I’m never going back to PMO. It’s not life it’s death. There truly is glory in suffering brothers. So continue, and march forward!

I’m on hard mode purely so no sex. We all heal differently, but you’ve got to acknowledge that it takes a while as your brain is rewiring its self from the excessive bursts of pleasures. That pornography exhibits.

LINK – The benefits are outrageous!