During my freshman year of college, I was depressed. It started with just eating a lot and gaining 25 pounds (I went to UCLA and the food was really good). And then it went to masturbating 3 times a day in the library, in the shower, pretty much anywhere there was a bathroom. Interesting fact about me, I actually had not even known what fapping was until I was 18! (How many of you here can say you have an 18-year NoFap streak ) So when I started masturbating, I was bedazzled and I thought that those moments of happiness were the secret to happiness. Boy, could I not have been more wrong. My freshman year was a disaster, and I really only started to change when I start losing hair my freshman year (my hair was one of my prides, and I was willing to do anything to stop the fall of my hair)
I stopped masturbating 3 times a day but I would masturbate (I think) around 3 times a week my second year. I think this was pretty much a constant because I was doing better than before and I didn’t really think stopping my masturbation would change anything. However, I was having a lot of trouble focusing my 3rd year and my mom recommended a 10-day meditation retreat my senior year winter break. I could not fathom not fapping for 10 days and I actually fapped on my first night there! However, I felt so guilty and told the head guy and he just told me to not worry and try not to do that for the rest of the course. I didn’t and I was amazed at my ability to do so well!
After the retreat, I started fapping more frequently until I came across NoFap’s forum and saw some benefits – I initially tried to deny that it would help, but I thought “Why not?” I had learned about the growth mindset and decided to use it for noFAP.
Now, I think that the combination of meditation, the growth mindset, and writing down your starting and ending times is the key to improving. I would write down the current day and time, and I started around 15 days – I would write the date and time 15 days from now (same time) and I would not masturbate until the date and time had exceeded that. Then after I fapped, I increased it to 20 days, and then a month, and then a month and two weeks and right now I am 60 days +!
1) I started down a new career path and I feel so motivated to learn! I don’t know if I would have been able to stay motivated during an online course for 7 weeks+ previous to this.
2) Reading books and watching movies have regained their fun – I used to love reading books for fun when I was in elementary – high school, but I think after fapping they lost some of their inherent joy. After 60 days of nofap, I feel that joy again!
3) I feel way more confident around women – 2 girls introduced themselves to me and I am able to act self-aware around women.
4) It is like a force multiplier – it cannot make me do work but when I start work, it makes me that much more productive. Pro-tip for those who also have some ADHD – once you get over that 20-minute mark, it is easier to stay focused. Get a 20 minute non computer/ non-phone timer and keep working until that 20-minute period is over. It is okay if you get distracted in focus, just go back to your work as soon as you realize that and be aware of you going to your phone/going to other websites! You know you will regret it
I would highly recommend going to this 10-day meditation course because my NoFap days started from here – when I had sexual urges, this course taught me the tools to just observe the sensations and be present with them. It is called Vipassana (and there is a website that starts with dhamma and ends with org that I cannot apparently type, but you can just search Vipassana and end up at the website anyways!) I don’t completely support the alpha male mindset of people who think that yelling “I AM NOT GOING TO FAP” is always possible and the best use of willpower. We only have a certain amount of willpower, and trying to will yourself to do something for a day is a lot harder than preventing yourself from doing something for a day.
I have also heard that the book: The Chimp Paradox, provides some useful information.
Chances are, I might even look at this post myself in the future, and I wish you all the best of luck!