Disclaimer: This will be detailed and if I don’t respond to all the questions immediately, please give me some time (Still learning the ins and outs of reddit as I’m relatively new)
24M here who just completed day 90 of NoFap. I started with the intention of trying to meet girls and enter into a relationship. I’ve never kissed one or had a relationship. Didn’t pursue girls for religious reasons and I also didn’t really take care of myself growing up either (Both have changed A LOT over the last couple of years). Believe it or not, I really don’t have social anxiety and am actually a REALLY good conversationalist (Possibly top 5% maybe better and told this often by everyone that I meet) even before I discovered NoFap.
For me, porn was semi-regular and I would watch it once every couple weeks or maybe weekly but I had been masturbating everyday without fault since I was like 12 or 13.
I’m pretty successful (And I’m sorry if I sound like I’m bragging. I’m really only trying to render an accurate depiction of myself before and after) in the sense that I live by myself in a home that I’ve purchased, have my car paid off, very minimal student loans, well-paying job, great relationship with my family, etc. However, I still found myself mildly depressed, unchallenged, unsatisfied, and lazy. I would come home everyday and do nothing but lay down in my bed, watch tv, YouTube, and nothing else until it was time to go to bed and somewhere in between, I’d squeeze masturbating in there.
Then I discovered NoFap. Can’t recall how but I did. And I was on a four day streak already accidentally and decided to give it a shot. On day five, I was still lazy but I went out for a drive and facetimed my bestest friend and told him about it explaining the benefits of NoFap and what it was. He quickly got on board and we went from there.
Now, I was waiting for the “Superpowers” to kick in. On day seven, I came home and all of a sudden, I felt like going out instead of staying home. Went to Barnes and Noble and started reading (1984 by George Orwell: Phenomenal read and I recommend everyone to finish it at least once in their life). Didn’t buy the book but decided that I would keep going there and reading it in pieces until I finished. Eventually I kept going back whenever I could and eventually finished it within the first thirty days.
From there, I decided that I was going to start out with cold-approaches for women. I wasn’t too bad and got a few no’s at the beginning but quickly gave my number to a really cute girl. She didn’t text me but I was perfectly cool with that. Eventually, over the course of trying to get numbers with about an average of three approaches a day, I got four numbers in total. Two didn’t text back, one I didn’t text, and the last one we texted for a day or so and then she went cold.
However, the “Superpowers” were kicking in. Confidence started going to an all time high, I started running like crazy (Now running distances between 3-5 miles), am getting into physical fitness in general, can tell that women are more attracted to me or at least it seems that way to me. My depression is almost completely gone other than the occasional couple of off days. LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD!
There was a point around day 50-60 where I became so happy with life, that I actually stopped chasing women. I’ve fallen in love with simply trying to improve myself as a person and that is so awesome. Before NoFap, I always wanted to be an avid reader. With 90 days on NoFap, I finished two books. Also finished Dr. Jordan Peterson’s self authoring suite (You write about your past, present, future and really makes you work on your demons and baggage and also makes you think about your personal hell which is what would make you hate your life in 5 years. A lot of people might even say if they’re still addicted to PMO in five years, that would be their own personal hell). For the first time ever, in my adult life, I have a definitive purpose.
My advice on how to succeed: Just try to go out as much as you can. I would come home everyday from work and go to Starbucks. Even if I was messing around, at least I wasn’t masturbating or enticing myself to. Take the win!
Also, NoFap will only get you to stop a bad habit. However, you have to surround yourself with other good habits like meditation, reading, working out, volunteering. If you simply don’t PMO, you’re really selling yourself short and not reaping the full benefits of the power that you have.
People might say that I haven’t done a lot in the last 90 days and I might actually agree with you. BUT, I’m soooooo much farther along in the right direction now than I was 90 days ago and for that, I can say that this was well worth it. I’m not going to stop my streak and am aiming to add another 90 days. Eventually, I do want to have a relationship with a SO and start having sex on a regular basis as I think that’s extremely healthy but for now, I’m happy just trying to improve as a person. BTW, my best friend who I got to start with me is on day 85! Having an accountability partner to text when you get urges is absolutely incredible.
Hope this helps and I’m glad to answer any questions you have. Remember, no one will ever doubt you more than you doubt yourself. If you slip up, fuck it, that’s life. You pick yourself up, figure out what caused you to make the mistake, and charge forward. Never in my life did I think I could stop masturbating, but lo and behold, here we are 90 days later. And as I said before…
LIFE IS FUCKING GOOD!