Age 24 – I was temporarily a zombie, but became a human again

I know a lot of people out there are struggling to even begin nofap because you keep asking yourself, ‘but does this stuff really work or is it just some sort of a movement by a bunch of delusional people that think that they’re somehow better because they don’t watch porn and masturbate?’

I feel that I am as qualified to talk about whether nofap works as anyone because I have a unique experience. Most men who watch porn and masturbate probably have been doing it for as long as they can remember. So they don’t really remember what they were like before they started watching porn and masturbating because they’ve been doing it for so long and it’s become part of their lives. For me, I didn’t masturbate until I was 18. And since I wasn’t masturbating, there was no real reason for me to watch porn either. I might have watched some porn occasionally but it was merely out of curiosity about women’s bodies. So, I would guess that I watched once a month for a couple of minutes at the maximum. I just didn’t know how to.

In the middle of my first semester of college, I discovered how to masturbate while I was taking a shower, and I started masturbating daily, and obviously, my porn usage increased accordingly. I did it for a year, and that year was the worst year of my entire life.

Growing up, I was always very outgoing and popular. From middle school to high school, there would at least be a couple of girls every year that would tell me that they liked me (which means there were more because girls usually don’t like to say to a guy they like them). My friends knew that I wasn’t masturbating, but they didn’t really make fun of me or anything. I had girlfriends, but never had sex with them because I’m waiting until marriage. I just always felt different and special. I felt like I was the only one with a clear vision in life (I just didn’t know that was because I wasn’t watching porn and masturbating like everyone else).

During the first year of my college, I masturbated daily and sometimes multiple times a day. Life was good for a while because I felt like I found something new, and I could finally relate to my friends when they talked about porn and masturbation.

Some time after, I found myself being so lazy to the point where I didn’t even want to go to eat and go to play basketball, which was my only hobby. I was losing a ton of weight. My room was extremely dirty. I was losing confidence. I didn’t want to meet anyone. All I wanted to do was just masturbate a couple of times and sleep, and I felt like it was okay that that was all I wanted to do.

I was in college, I could do whatever I wanted. When I do get out, I would get anxiety, which I never had, and I wouldn’t know why, and that made me not want to go out even more. I kept telling myself it was because I’m still getting used to the college life, it’s a new environment, it takes time to get comfortable..etc. I would constantly blame all the problems that I was having on the fact that I was still getting used to a new college life.

I would never even think for a second that it was all because of I was watching porn and masturbate. Because I just never thought there would be a connection between them. One day, I was just watching videos on Youtube and I randomly came across a video on nofap. The video talked about what porn and masturbation can do to you and all the benefits of nofap.

I was literally checking off every single side effect of porn and masturbation. That’s when I realized all these symptoms that I was having could be all because of the fact that I was watching porn and masturbating. I stopped watching porn and masturbating right then and there.

It’s been about a year and a half since I started nofap, and I literally feel like that one year I was watching porn and masturbating I was a zombie, and someone injected a cure in me and I became a human again. I got all my confidence back, I have no anxiety whatsoever, just all the problems I thought I was having because I was getting used to college went away. I was just back to myself.

Some of you guys who are struggling to start nofap because you think it’s not worth it. You might be feeling like I was for that one year thinking that it’s normal to feel that way because you’ve just been feeling like that for so long. Because when you are already in that state of mind, you think it’s okay to feel that way, and the only way to feel that it’s not okay to feel that way is to pull yourself out of that state of mind. You don’t know until you are out of it. You just don’t. So, whether or not you believe nofap is going to work, just trust me one time and try it for yourself for three months. I started feeling normal again around 3-4 months. And like I said, you are not going to know that you were in that state of mind until you are actually out of it. Once you are out of it, you’re going to know. But, it doesn’t happen over night like magic. You’re going to gradually start feeling better and you’ll eventually be completely back to yourself one day.

Let me know if you have any questions.

by Hangukin