Feels really good to know that Porn is no longer in my life. One of the best decisions you can make to improve your overall well-being is kicking a porn habit and never looking back. It’s like taking back a huge chunk of your life that had been stolen from you.
Since dropping porn I’ve gotten more active by taking up jogging, became more focused and started taking my studies more seriously (hard to study when every 5 minutes you’re replaying porn scenes in your head lol) and best of all I’m now far more confident in my social interactions as I don’t have the shame/guilt of porn hanging over me anymore. These are just off the top of my head but overall I just feel more alive!
It’s never too late drop a bad habit and you’ll thank yourself for it. Keep fighting the good fight!!
LINK – 100 days Porn free!
by r1chard_93
INITIAL POST – Kicking that porn habit all starts with a change in your mentality…
This is my first post but thought I’d share my experience as it relates to kicking my porn habit.
I suffered from porn addiction almost my entire life (24 yrs old as of writing this). I vividly remember viewing porn from the tender age of 8 yrs old and masturbating since I was 12. Fast-forward to now and I’m definitely seeing the negative impacts from the seed that porn had planted in me many years ago, both directly and indirectly.
I’ve tried kicking this habit time and time again to no avail. It would go like this: 1) Spend an entire weekend binge-watching hours of my favorite videos on pornhub 2) Edging and ultimately masturbating at least 3 or 4 times each session 3) Feel regret that I wasted another weekend on porn 4) Tell myself that I’m done with porn 5) Read articles and posts online about how to kick the habit and get a rush of energy thinking that this time will be different 6) The weekend rolls around again and I end up repeating steps 1 – 4
I was so sick of myself and the kind of person I was becoming, but I was too weak to do anything about it. I recognized that I had a problem, but anytime I tried to do something about it I’d end up right back where I started…. Which brings me to the title of this post:
“Kicking that porn habit all starts with a change in your mentality”
There are 2 major mindsets I adopted to finally overcome my porn addiction. And in my opinion, until you win the battle in your mind, you’ll forever be fighting a losing war.
The first is that I shifted my thinking from ‘I don’t want to watch porn anymore’ to “I Do Not Watch Porn Anymore”… Notice the difference? The first statement is from a place of weakness; I was pleading with myself, hoping that I wouldn’t succumb to this anymore, hoping that my cries for help would be answered.. They never were.. The second statement is from a place of strength and conviction. Porn is something I Do Not indulge in. Period. The second statement is powerful because I’m saying this goes against my core values as a person and that I refuse to change my stance for some pixels on a screen.
Think of it this way: I don’t do drugs, of any kind. Never have and never will. If someone came up to me to sell me drugs my response will be the same every time: I don’t do drugs. Doesn’t matter if they hold me down or tie me up and try to force it on me. I don’t do drugs. It goes against my core values so I ain’t doing it. Now translate that to porn. Once you truly believe that porn is against your core values (which hopefully we all do by this point) then you realize that it is non-negotiable. You Do Not Watch Porn. Period. No matter the urges you may feel or how your brain rationalizes loading up your go-to porn sites; You Do Not Watch Porn. Period.
The second mindset is what I call the Best self vs Worst self Tug of War. It goes like this: Imagine the very best version of yourself. Be as self-aggrandizing as you want.. What does that person look like? What is their lifestyle like? What achievements have they made? How successful are they? What positive impact do they have on others and the world around them? Got that best version in your head? Good. Now imagine the very worst version of yourself. Be as blunt and unforgiving as you can.. What does that person look like? What is their lifestyle like? Have they achieved anything in their life? What negative impacts or burden are they to others and the world around them? Now that we have both versions, let’s pit them against each other in a good-old-fashioned game of Tug of War..
Let’s say the best and worst versions of yourself are captains of either team. Initially it’s just the two of them pulling on the rope with you in the middle (you being the current version of yourself now). Whoever pulls you to their side will determine your future outcome. That is if Team best wins then you become that best version and if worst wins vice versa.
Now who’s making up the numbers for each team. Well imagine the decisions you make and the habits you form as rest of the players. The good decisions and habits you form are on Team Best. While the bad habits and decisions (I’m looking at you porn) form the Worst Team. Hopefully it goes without saying but the team with more players on their side will have an advantage as it relates to pulling you to their side.
This thought experiment is just to highlight that fact that the ideal or best version of ourselves is attainable, once we make the right day-to-day decisions and form positive healthy habits. But the flip side is also true: if we spend our days slacking off, succumbing to our vices and making the wrong decisions then that Mr. Worst is just as attainable. Every time you succumb to your porn habits, you’re being pulled closer and closer to the worst version of yourself (you’re adding members to Team Worst and giving them an advantage). It’s good to run towards a goal or ideal version in your mind, but it’s just as important to run away from the negative or dark version. And in my opinion the ‘running away from’ is far more motivating. Your doctor telling you that changing your diet will add more years to your life doesn’t have the same oomph as that same doctor telling you that your current diet will kill you prematurely if you don’t change it. Telling you that kicking your porn habit will have positive benefits in the future doesn’t have the same oomph as telling you that your current porn habit is having severe mental, physical and physiological effects on you now.
That’s my 2 cents and hopefully this can at least give someone else a new perspective. I’m currently 52 days free of porn as of writing this post but I can confidently say that porn will not be a part of my life again.
TL;DR Change your mindset: 1) You Do Not Watch Porn. Period 2) Give your best self the advantage by making good decisions daily. Screw your worst version.
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