The reason NoFap caught my attention was how I was a perfect example of someone who constantly watched porn and fapped. I discovered masturbation when I was about 11. And not long after I got into watching porn. Over the years, I began to watch porn more and more. Not in an addiction type way,
but in more of a just for fun way. When I had free time or just needed to pass the time, I was watching porn. I thought it was harmless. I had no idea what it was doing to me. Over this time I developed extreme social anxiety and lack of confidence. Until finding out about NoFap, I never would have guessed this was due to constantly masturbating and watching porn.
In January 2016 I decided I would start NoFap. Over the last two years I’ve had relapse after relapse. But even with these, I’ve really improved in many ways. My streaks slowly improved from days to weeks. I can make it 2 weeks easy now with barely having any urges. The enjoyment I get from watching porn has almost gone away. Watching porn in general isn’t appealing to me at all anymore. I just get urges for certain pornstars and things like that here and there. But even with that the enjoyment and urge for it has gone way down. I still have pretty bad social anxiety, at least compared to where I want to be. I graduated from college in May, and I recently started my first job ever, and it’s gone pretty well considering my lack of confidence, having social anxiety, and just being very shy and quiet in general.
Within the last two months I’ve really seen some of the benefits of NoFap. For the last several years I’ve been a regular gym member, going to the gym 3-4 days a week or so. But now I’m going almost every single day and doing more than I used to do when I’m at the gym. As I have mentioned, my social skills have improved as well. I’m less nervous around new people and less nervous when around a lot of people. I also don’t care as much about what people think about me, which is great. Another thing is I’ve had a lot more of an urge to be more social. I’ve reached out to more friends and have been talking to them more. I’ve also become more active on social media. Streaks of 2-3 weeks have done me good. Also I have gotten into cold showers which I believe have also been helping.
But now the reason I’m writing this post. As you can see with my counter, I’m back to day 0. I freaking relapsed again. I’m tired of relapses. Even with the progress I’ve made, I want to beat this addiction once and for all. I really truly believe that by becoming an active member of the NoFap community will be the final piece I need in beating this crap. I want to post weekly updates about my journey. I feel like it will keep me more accountable in beating this for good. I know it’s still going to be hard. I’m going to get really bad urges the longer in I get, but I can beat them. And I will.
I am ultimately doing NoFap for myself. I want to become a very outgoing person that has no social anxiety, and can go around wherever I want without worrying about what people think about me. I want to be social with everybody I see and talk to, and be able to carry a conversation with anyone. I want to be able to do whatever I need to do, say whatever I need to say. I want to become a man. A real man.
I have a secondary motivation for doing NoFap. And that second motivation is women. I want to find myself a girl. I had better luck with women when I was 14-15-16 years old. The last time I had a legit girlfriend I was 16. This may be weird, but my biggest fear is never having a wife and a family. Nowadays, I have nothing when it comes to women. I have no game at all. I have no confidence. And it’s all because of my porn/masturbation addiction. I’m a really nice guy that can treat a girl right. I even race cars as a hobby, but a serious hobby. One might think this would make me a little unique to most, and be appealing to many girls.
But even with that, besides the girls I’ve known for years that are my close friends, I can barely get girls to give me the time of day. Most girls that I don’t know or don’t know well will not talk to me at all. It’s all because I have no confidence. I get awkward. I don’t say the right things. I say the completely wrong things. I’m by far not the most attractive guy in the world, but I’ve had girls tell me I’m cute and handsome. Then once I get to talking to them I make them run away. One of my favorite posts to read about are posts about female attraction. They are huge motivation for me, but I haven’t really ever put together a long enough streak to see the benefits of NoFap and female attraction. So as I said I’m doing this ultimately for me, but also to find myself a girl, that I can turn into a wife, which can turn into a family.
So yeah I feel like I’ve rambled on enough. I’ve had my last relapse. I’m done for good. No more excuses. I’m going to post weekly updates, because this community is so awesome. I want to hear what people have to say. Good or bad I don’t care. I’m also getting off social media for 100 days, with the exception of Snapchat, just due to the fact I have some friends that I talk to on there. During a streak here a few weeks ago, I went a week without social media and it was so nice, and I feel like it helped me make more progress than I would have otherwise. Feel free to say whatever you want. Give advice, comments, concerns. It’s all going to help, this community is awesome. Thanks guys!
I am now 24 years old.