Hi everyone! This is my first post on Reddit. I’m a 24yo italian guy and I struggled with P related problems since teenage years. I started watching P at the age of 11, from the first time I had high-speed internet connection.
From 14 to 20 I only suffered of
- mild social anxiety
- problems of connection with people I was watching P for about 3 hours a day at that time.
Starting from 21, I started suffering of
- very heavy social anxiety and panic attacks
- loss of strength and motivation
- heavy brain fog and lack of concentration and memory
- derealization [depersonalization]
- 0 connection with people and less than 0 emotions
- vanilla sexual fantasies changed to extreme fetishes
- mild PIED
- loss of ambition and hopes for the future
- no interest in women I was watching P during all my spare time, even at night sometimes.
Then something changed in my brain. The last day of December, while thinking about the previous year, I realized that I had a problem with P. I started searching on Web and the first result was the famous Gary Wilson’s video.
- From January to June I didn’t watch P of any kind.
I noticed very huge improvements with all the problems listed above. I was MOed 2 times a month during that time.
Then, in a very stressful moment, I relapsed. It was really different this time. I watched less extreme stuff for a short period of time. I PMOed 3 times in July and once in August. I didn’t ruin all the improvements I made during past months, but I wasn’t satisfied with results.
So, 90 days ago, I started a new streak, and this time I decided to not watch P or MO. I will reintroduce MO when I will feel ready. I don’t know if the first streak helped to achieve the benefits I have achieved in the second one, but after these 90 days I feel a completely different person.
I have noticed the following improvements:
- social anxiety decreased dramatically and is decreasing every day. Now I can talk with strangers without problems
- I feel more confident and my voice is stronger when speaking.
- I have much more empathy now: I think more about others and less about myself
- I feel the need to connect with people and I don’t like to be alone anymore
- My mood is much much better during most of the days. I smile more and love to make people smile, especially girls
- I am doing really well at work
- I have the energy to do much more things during the day
- brain fog decreased and is still decreasing. My memory is improving.
- I feel a lot more emotions than before. Good and bad emotions.
To reach 90 days, I did the following things:
- Used OpenDNS on router and K9 Web Filter on computers to block P at home
- Stopped using computer at home
- Manually blocked most common P sites on Android phone editing hosts file.
- Reduced phone use
- Started accepting all invites by friends and going out from home literally everyday
- Read this reddit section (Thanks to everyone)
I hope this will help someone. Thank you for reading and sorry for my english.
LINK – 90 Days : What’s changed?
UPDATE – 102 Days : A new update!
Here I am, only 12 days after my post about 90 days. That’s a short period of time, but something really incredible has happened to me. When I started this journey:
- I was really shy and had social anxiety.
- I didn’t really care about other people emotions, and in every social context it was like I was acting.
- I didn’t have any connection with another human being, and I felt better when I was alone in my room.
- I couldn’t go to the supermarket or another public place, because I had panic attacks.
- My mood was very low and people didn’t like to stay near me.
- I was always the one that doesn’t talk during group conversations.
Well, this was my background. Yesterday, I did something that I didn’t think it was possible for me.
- I went to a conference, and talked to a crowd of people without trembling voice or any other problem of social anxiey.
- I told a nice girl my feelings about her, in front of her, and I have been truthful (she accepted to go out with me).
This is what changed in about 12 days.
UPDATE – 4 months : A new update!
After 4 months of pornfree journey, I’m sure I made the best choice of my life. This is what happened to me:
- I have the courage to do anything I have in my mind. I told to a girl that I like her, directly, without thinking too much. I revealed her my most intimate secrets, the first time in my life.
- When I’m alone in my room, with nothing to do, and a smartphone and a computer near to me, I don’t feel any urge to PMO.
- Accidental sexy scenes during movies don’t arouse me, but a single smile by a girl can make me aroused.
- I’m more active and I’m never at home. Now I prefer to go out, meet people, go anywhere. I stay at home only when I need to sleep. My social anxiety is almost gone.
- I have more energy than before and I do much more things during the day.
- I’m going to gym almost everyday. I’ve lost a lot of pounds and I’m quite fit right now.
- I have much more confidence with people and especially girls. Now I’m able to flirt with girls I like without the fear and thoughts I had before. If I get rejected by a girl, I feel sad just for a moment, but after that I have enough confidence to flirt with another one.
- I’m really good at eye contact, physical contact, and speaking. Even public speaking don’t scare me anymore.
- Emotional numbness faded away. Now I feel strong emotions, that I never experienced before.
- I was a writer in the past, but for the last 4 years I’ve had no creativity. Now, I can write many poems a day and I have many more original ideas in general.
I’m sure that I achieved more than these benefits, but I don’t remember that at the moment. Feel free to ask any question about my journey.