Well these past 30 days have been no bed of Roses, no pleasure cruise…
BUT I have experienced some major benefits that I want to share with you to keep you guys fighting this fight
Before I struggled with the simplest tasks, I had poor short term memory, I was very much inside my own head with shame, guilt and regret – I did not feel good enough.
I didn’t feel good enough to be liked, I was withdrawn and favoured being isolated on my own – watching Netflix and spending hours on video games.
I was plagued with low motivation, simple chores like washing the dishes would take hrs. to be completed – if done at all. And I was tired – tired although I had slept like a baby for the past 9hrs!
I was anxious to start a whole streak again, fearing the withdrawal symptoms. Which I have had my fair share of these past 30days.
Week 1 – I did not notice significant benefits till about day 7 – the first week I was very much in withdrawal – random anger outbursts, crippling depression with suicidal thoughts, no libido.
Day 7 – 14 positive improvements are being seen, social anxiety is going down, acne is clearing up reduced Shame and improved eye contact
Day 14 – 17 – superpowers are here! I was bursting full of energy, social anxiety pretty much nonexistent and no real urges to speak of.
Day 17 – 21 Very low again, very strong emotions, becoming upset very easily and irritable
Day 21 – 30 Emotions are normalizing, performing better at work, negative self-talk is virtually gone, feeling proud of streak.
As the streak continued however I have started to feel more confident in myself, I am less in my own head, social anxiety has therefore improved, so has my memory. I can only put this down to there being more space in my head – thoughts and feelings are more clear – they are by no means perfect but they have improved.
Positive emotions have been returning, I have more genuine laughs, whereas before I found very little funny, I have become more caring and empathetic with family and friends.
Taking proper care of myself seems so much easier, as if as my mind has cleared I can now focus on things that are more important. I have reduced the amount of time I am playing video games and am improving my diet.
With fear of sounding dramatic – I feel more human – I cannot believe what a difference 30days can make. I feel a different person
Also I host an AP group and am looking for dedicated guys to join – there is a leaderboard ranking to appeal to our competitive natures – see here
Hopefully I can report further benefits from day 60!
Carry on the fight!